My Three Snakes and Snails

This is what I found while I was making dinner...

2011-11-27T21:00:00.002-05:00

We have a rule about no TV or XBox on a school night. (unless it involves Max and Ruby or Team Umizoomi to keep Brooks occupied)

Turns out, when they get bored enough, they READ!!!

Caleb's Washington Monument

2011-11-27T20:53:00.003-05:00

For those of you on pins and needles about Caleb's last minute project... here are some pictures to prove that I actually did help him get it done!!!

To read about my downfall as a mother... go HERE!

"I like to look for rainbows..."

2011-11-17T07:51:00.006-05:00

Despite what they say, it is possible to have a "right-out-of-a-fairy-tale-moment" with 3 kids! It's tricky.... the stars have to be aligned and it often requires a little heavenly help, but it is possible. Our heavenly help came in the form of an arc of prismatic colors that exploded across the sky to make a full spectrum, perfect rainbow! It really was a beautiful moment... and what made it even better was the boys noticed it themselves, and continued to point out the rarities that you don't usually see with rainbows.

1) it was one continuous arc from one side of the sky to the other
2) you could see all the colors in fairly distinct bands all the way across
3) the sun was shining and light streamed through the clouds in beams
4) raindrops continued to fall letting the light from the sun reflect off them
5) dark rain clouds in the distance provided a beautiful blue-gray backdrop, allowing the colors of the rainbow to appear even more vibrant

I didn't have my camera with me to document it myself... but found a true-blue, Alaskan Rainbow for your viewing pleasure!

We were enjoying it so much, we had to take the "long way" to school so we could see it longer. But by the time, we pulled into the school drop off lane, it was gone. We could've easily missed it... as well as the stimulating and thought provoking conversation that came about because of it. I'm grateful that we walked out the door when we did.... and that Josh spotted it... and that Caleb marveled about it... and that they both really "thought" about the beautiful meaning behind the rainbow... and mostly, that I was there to witness all of it!

As I drove home alone, I couldn't help but think of THIS. I reread it again this morning, and it was a good reminder to me about what it means to be happy. And, oddly enough, it even refers to a rainbow...

Leaves... please leave!

2011-11-14T18:42:00.005-05:00

Every fall, our yard gets buried in leaves! One year, we had 70 bags of leaves out front waiting patiently (ever so patiently) as the garbage collector took a mere 8 bags each week. Since that first year, I have gotten more efficient in my bagging skills, so we don't have as many bags. But I can't escape the blisters and aching back that comes with hours of raking and bending over.

That is, until today when I finally mastered the leaf blower! Despite carefully watching landscapers blow leaves for various techniques, I did have a little trouble at first, which involved a wall of leaves flying 20 feet in the air and scattering leaves everywhere. But, even with the rough start, I managed to tame and maneuver the leaves into a large leaf pile that literally filled the entire driveway!

Then I bagged the leaves in record time using a new technique I invented. It was extremely efficient... and I challenge any profession leaf bagger to a duel in bagging leaves! I've decided to share said technique with you to assist you in your own bagging efforts.

1) Pile up leaves in a long, heaping pile
2) Take empty bag, and step on the inside, top edge of the bag with both feet, about hip width apart.
3) Bend over and shovel leaves into the open mouth of the bag using your hands.
4) As the bag fills up, occassionally smash leaves by sitting on the bag
5) Continue hand shoveling until you can't cram anymore.
6) Then sit bag up and alternate pressing leaves into bag, and then smashing... pressing, smashing, pressing, smashing until you literally can't get anymore in.

I didn't time myself, but I think this whole process took about 5 minutes per bag! And I did it all by myself without someone else holding the bag!
YEAH ME!

Maybe tomorrow I'll shave a few seconds off my time for a new record! I entertain easily.
I'd love to hear how you get rid of leaves... so share your techniques!

she's warming my heart

2011-11-09T17:18:00.004-05:00

This is what I found on my front porch the other day. The neighbor's cat.

I'm not particularly fond of cats. Let's be honest... I can't stand them. But this hasn't always been the case.

I remember my first childhood pet, which was a black kitten with white paws. I named her Mittens. I remember carrying her all over the place... and then when she had kittens of her own... many, many kittens, that eventually went ferrel all over the farm. Meanwhile, my Dad was very allergic to Mittens, and he had suffered long enough, so he told me that he was going to take Mittens to a place where she would be very happy and could run and play with other cats, on a big farm with lots of meadows and fun places to hide! I agreed that Mittens had to go, so I remember a tearful goodbye as he put her in a cardboard box and drove away.

I was heartbroken... for about a day.

Since then, I developed an allergy to cats as well, so I've continued to distance myself more and more from them. Now, they literally give me the creeps!

So back to my neighbor's cat, Pumpkin. She is attracted to me like crazy... it's like she can sense that I don't like her, so she's trying desperately to win my affection. She rubs up against my legs and she sits on my windowsills and stares at me, (shiver), she sneaks in my garage, and eventually into the house. (double shiver) But my husband thinks it's hilarious and keeps telling me that she will grow on me. I keep refusing. That is until I saw her curled up on my doormat. She looked so small and helpless on that chilly, fall day. Her fur moved slightly as she tried to warm herself in the sun, despite the breeze. Despite my best efforts, I have to admit that as I watched her through the storm door, my grinch-like heart grew 1/2 size that day.

Well, years after I said goodbye to Mittens, I realized a couple things. Remember, the farm that my Dad promised to take Mittens to? The one with all the meadows and cats and big open spaces? It seemed so wonderful and so I was sure that she would be much happier to go there. The ironic thing is... THIS IS WHERE I GREW UP!

How in the world did I fall for that line? I was standing on a huge 160 acre farm with barns and meadows... a cat's paradise!

As it turns out, the big farm that Dad was referring to, was that "big farm in the sky"! That's farm-life for ya! Rest in peace, Mittens.

morning wake up call

2011-11-07T07:47:00.003-05:00

THIS IS WHAT I HEARD THIS MORNING! (click on the link)

FYI: I don't live near a train station or train tracks.

Unless you're counting the one in Brooks' room.

Looks harmless enough, right? When he wanted to leave it out before going to bed, the thought crossed my mind that he could use it to open his door again. But unless he could move large furniture, I concluded that he wouldn't be able to get out. And if I was lucky, maybe it would entertain him for awhile.

Sadly, it never occurred to me that he would start blowing the train whistle at 6am... and it would continue approximately every 8 seconds. (I counted them and anticipated it like contractions... knowing it was inevitable and not being able to fully relax in between)

Hoping that Mike would not be able to take it anymore, I held out, pretending to be slumbering peacefully. It wasn't until I looked over and saw the pillow over his head, that I realized he had every intent of enduring this from the comfort of under the covers. Desperate, I tried the pillow thing, but could still hear it streaming in the baby monitor.

Reluctantly I stumbled out of bed 40 minutes later to pack lunches. That's when this morning got EVEN better. I came downstairs to two boys wearing dirty clothes. Coaxing them out of their favorite, smelly t-shirts is more exhausting then the train whistle, so I went straight to the threats... "If you don't go back upstairs and put on the nicely folded, clean clothes that I work extra hard to put in your drawers every week, then you'll be grounded for life."

Several altercations later, they were both grounded for the after noon... with their form of punishment being an endless list of chores to last them until dinnertime, or the house is spotless, whichever comes last. And contrary to what you might think, and to protect the reputations of those involved, they DIDN'T get grounded for wearing dirty clothes.

Meanwhile, back upstairs at Brooks Central Station, I reluctantly opened the door to find him very distraught clutching all the trains he could hold. The only thing that calmed him was the promise to watch "a lot of cartoons"... his words, not mine. Right now he is simultaneously watching Dora the Explorer, while playing on his Leapster, and pushing the train whistle.

I need a vacation.

he's at it again...

2011-11-06T17:21:00.004-05:00

We have a Houdini in the family.

We purchased the best lock we could find to keep Brooks in his room, not only to prevent him from waking up everyone in the house at 3am... but also for his own safety! And now that he is no longer taking a nap, it is even more crucial for him to get his rest... and when he wakes up at 5am and can't get out of his room, he will go back to sleep on is own. But all that is compromised when he can get out of his room that is locked with a lock at the top of the door frame (which is at least 4 feet above his reach!).

But after ruling everything out (like me forgetting to lock the door, or his brothers opening it for him), and even locking myself in his room and failing to get out, I concluded that he just might be a genius!

So I took Brooks into his room armed with my camera, and told him to open the door. This is what he did... and this is how he explained it.

"First I did this!" (He also successfully used a sword, but he preferred the "hook" approach by putting his race car tracks together in a hook formation.)
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"I climb up here." (then he climbed up on the nightstand that is right next to the door)

"I go like this!" (Then he simply uses his "hook" to move the latch over)

"See? I did it!" (One smart kid!)

Now I know why he often insisted on sleeping with his sword and tracks. That very day, I moved the night stand away from the door... and removed all paraphernalia that may be used as an escape tool. BUSTED!

Last night he slept in til 8am! Hallelujiah!

trick or treat!

2011-10-31T08:54:00.006-04:00

Halloween Eve was not a happy day for Brooks.

It actually started out the night before at the Trunk or Treat. By the time we got home, he had worked himself into an angry, candy-overloaded tizzy! So when I came downstairs early Sunday morning to find all three chillins chowing down on candy for breakfast, I knew we were off to a scary start to the day. When I managed to pry a tootsie roll from Brooks' kung-fu grip, he erupted in a string of toddler obscenities. I eventually had to get in the shower, so I left Dad to begin the wrestling match and attempt to get a kicking, flailing 3 year-old into a shirt and tie for church! (insert evil witch laugh now!)

When I was drying my hair, I could tell that the screaming Brooks had been left in his room to "cool down"! By the time I was putting on my earrings, I heard Mike open the garage door to get the other boys out to the car to wait for me. Brooks obviously heard the door too, and in the nicest, sobbing voice he could muster, he pleaded, "Mommy... Daddy.... please don't leave me!"

I opened his bedroom door and saw the tear-stained face of my little munchkin, who was obviously relieved to see me. Contrary to his understanding of the situation, we had no intention of leaving him at home while we were at church for 3 hours... but his fear of abandonment worked to our advantage when he promised to be nice and willingly got into his car seat.

When I picked him up from his nursery class, I was informed that he refused to clean up, and told another boy, "I don't care if I hurt your feelings." This was turning into a Halloween full of TRICKS!

After lunch, I lured him into my bed and we curled up to take a "little snooze". 2 1/2 hours later, I rolled over to a wide-eyed, smiling little dude as he said, "Good morning Mommy!"

Thanks to our afternoon nap, the remaining hours left of our Halloween Eve turned out to be filled with cheerful after-dinner chores, a fun game, playful banter and lovely singing... turns out I got a TREAT after all!

who says you don't use algebra as a mom

2011-10-26T15:00:00.005-04:00

If you've ever felt like your brain is going to mush because of lack of use... try THESE mind benders to ward off the Alzheimer's!

Algebraic Equation:
Multiplication: Distributive Property
Sample: 4(a + b) = x

Mom Equation:
4 days (chocolate milk in sippy cup + under bed) = chocolate cottage cheese

______________________________

Algebraic Equation:
Solve using the FOIL method
Sample Problem: (1 + x)(3 + 2x)

Mom Equation:
Laundry FOILed again!
(1 dryer + brown crayon)(1 load of whites + 2brown crayons)
Solution: Poopy looking underwear

_______________________________

Mom Equation:
(2a + 1b)
________ x 4d (2s) = M
(1h + 3c)

a= cans of cherry pop
b= clumsy husband
c= towels laid on top to keep our feet from getting wet
d= days lapsed
h= hours scrubbing carpet
M= Mildew smell wafting through the house!

________________________________

All this is enough to make my head spin!

you might be a bad mom, if you did this...

2011-10-25T09:44:00.004-04:00

Last Friday was NOT one of my finest moments as a mom. Even as I write this, I'm experiencing serious inner conflict about admitting this. But one of my goals is to be more humble... so here I go.

9:00 p.m. last Thursday
I crawl out of Brooks' bed and shake the needles out of my right arm. I must have been pretty tired to have fallen asleep in a toddler bed with a wiggly 3 year old. As I lock Brooks' door behind me, (look back HERE to see why I have to lock the door in the first place) I realize that Josh and Caleb are still awake despite having been in bed for an hour. Caleb informs me that he has a project due tomorrow. Confident that I would've known about it, I tell him he must be mistaken and coerce him into bed and turn off the light.

Just to be safe, I look around for any evidence of a project deadline amongst the plethora of papers that arrive home every day. There it is. I stare in disbelief at the project flyer right on the kitchen counter. Why is this the first time I'm seeing this? How did it magically appear right in plain sight. I do admit, I have been a bit preoccupied, and the house has been "under the weather" lately, but I'm in shock! I do a double take at the weekly homework sheet that has been posted on my bulletin board ALL WEEK LONG when I notice that right there, plastered across the top are the words, "We can't wait to see all the American Symbol projects that are due this Friday!"

"I'm the worst mom ever!" I mutter to my husband who is in the reclined position watching ESPN.

I have visions of Josh's American symbols project from 1st grade... and can see clearly in my mind's eye the Washington Monument model that is collecting dust in the attic. I brush the thought away because it isn't honest, right?

"You could always pull out Josh's old Washington Monument project from the attic?" my husband suggests sarcastically. Embarrassed to admit that the thought had already occurred to me, I tell him it's out of the question. I slump on the couch in silence as my mind races with horrific images of Caleb going to school WITHOUT a project... and the sight of possible "excuse note" sentences flash as I consider how I can possibly explain this oversight!

Don't get me wrong... Caleb is partly responsible. But he's also 6... and I'm 33. And who is the parent again? So after much debate with myself... and weighing out the outcomes of every possibility, I come to the conclusion that the only logical solution is to keep him home from school. Luckily we have the weekend to come up with something that is 3 feet tall, made out of clay (Caleb's requirements) and somewhat resembles either the Washington Monument, an eagle, a flag or the Statue of Liberty (the teacher's requirements).

Caleb is literally elated when I inform him the next morning that he will NOT be going to school that day, despite the absence of a fever or sore throat. But he voices his own thoughts to fix the situation by saying, "Why don't I just take Josh's Washington Monument project in the attic?" Great minds really do think alike, I guess.

Thanks to a friend's suggestion, a last-minute trip to the craft store is averted when Caleb becomes giddy at the idea of building the Washington Monument out of Legos. So, in addition to all the other things I HAD to get done that very day (I'll spare you on the details... but take my word for it, this day was intense), we spent the next 2 hours burrowing through Lego bins sorting out all the small, white lego pieces... including white slanted pieces, which are hard to come by.

The end result is something that both mother and son are proud of! Unfortunately, I forgot to take a picture. So hopefully it will make it back in one piece, so you can see the masterpiece for yourself.

Until then, here are a couple fun facts about the Washington Monument:

The Real One:
-555 feet tall
-897 steps to the top
-36,491 blocks of marble
-50 flags surrounding it... representing each state

Caleb's Model:
-13 inches tall
-35 levels of legos to the top
-325 lego blocks
-25 flags surrounding it... representing every 2 states!

grocery line etiquette

2011-10-17T16:22:00.003-04:00

I don't like to make judgments about people based on a person's age. But I also can't argue with facts.

Quite often while I am paying for my groceries, I am crowded at the grocery store check-out. I think most people understand the unspoken rule about giving people space while they punch in secret codes and sign their John Hancock. But there are a few who fail to see the invisible line that exists between the conveyor belt and the credit card machine... a social line that you must not cross until the person has successfully paid for their groceries and has exited the isle. Failure to do so, in my opinion, earns you the title of "lurker". And over the years, I have noticed that "lurkers", without fail, fit within the following age brackets: 80+ years... and 16-18 years.

Recently, while I was loading my groceries into the cart, about 6 teenage boys had encroached past the invisible line. While I was trying to swipe my card, I could actually identify 3 different colognes that were attempting to mask the stale cigarette smoke, a hint of B.O. ... and I felt the guy's long hair brush up against my arm as he tossed it over his shoulder. When I motioned to them and suggested they "back up a bit", they seemed confused until I asked them if they would like to purchase my $300 grocery bill for me. They immediately stepped back... and I think the one wearing the skinny jeans did a courtly bow.

Another time, a little granny was so far forward, her walker was practically nestled right under my heiny!

And yet another time, a grandma and grandpa duo were so close that the grandma kindly brushed off some goldfish crumbs that were on my shoulder.

Although, I'm flattered that people don't find me disgusting enough to keep their distance, the thought has occurred to me that they are actually trying to pick my pockets or something, and so it does make me a little uncomfortable. Maybe next time I won't consider it as much of a priority to shower and put on deodorant before going to Walmart.

Just a mini-toot on my mini-horn for my mini-shades

2011-10-12T17:09:00.004-04:00

I've had my eye on some mini-shades for my dining room chandelier for some time now... but have NOT been willing to spend well over $50 to buy them new.

Sooooooooooooooo I found some old, mis-matched, atrocious looking shades for a buck a piece at Goodwill... added some black cardstock and a little double width bias tape... and badda-bing-badda-boom... Fancy shmancy shades for only $10 buckaroos!

Okay, okay... that's definitely enough "tooting" for one day!

2 funerals and a cemetary

2011-10-10T12:26:00.005-04:00

This past week, my boys have experienced and dealt with death. For them, it was filled with fascination and intrigue.

As for the wildlife in our back yard?... It has been a pretty tragic week.

When I saw Josh carrying the dead corpse of a squirrel, which had apparently been named Scotty, I knew I had better get off the phone quick. I was a little disturbed to watch the freshly dead rodent slide back and forth in the snow shovel, while my sons and other neighborhood boys crowded around asking me what to do with it.

I shuddered as visions of a fly-infested-5-days-until-trash-pick-up garbage can came to mind, so I immediately gave them the alternative to bury it. Apparently that was the right response, because they all whispered "yes!" in unison.

Fast forward 2 days later... I watched a precession of boys following Josh as he carried the same snow shovel in a funeral-like-march towards me. This time, the unlucky rodent was a very stiff and very dead chipmunk.

I didn't have to say much... just gave them the "go ahead nod" before they all scampered off to the back yard flower bed, which has now been officially designated as the Rodent Cemetary.

Now that I think about it, I think I need to be more careful with the mole poison.

labor of love

2011-10-01T21:56:00.002-04:00

Tonight I got a hankerin' for some good 'ole fashioned comfort food... not just any old comfort food... my Grandma's famous rice pudding! The problem is, Grandma lives 6,000 miles away in Alaska, and the last time I tried making her recipe, it was an utter failure!

Several years ago, upon my request, Grandma had given me the recipe, and had written the directions very carefully and detailed... because apparently there's a special science in making a good rice pudding. Hers is so creamy and delicious, it tastes like Christmas in a bowl!.... it's THAT good!

But in trying to replicate her recipe, I thought if I hurried the process and let it boil, and skip the step about pouring a little hot mixture into the beaten eggs first, and then adding it to the rest of the milk mixture... that i would get the same result. Oh contrare! It tasted alright, I guess.... that is, if you like scrambled eggs in every bite.

That image haunted me for years, so I was very reluctant to try making it again. Until tonight. So since Mike was out for the night, and the kids were in bed, I rummaged through my pantry for some evaporated milk and set to work. I turned the stove on... very low... and slowly and patiently stirred the milk. I stirred, and I stirred and I stirred. I followed the recipe meticulously. I was tempted once or twice to crank up the heat and speed things along, but I resisted. (in case you're wondering, the goal is to cook it, without letting it boil). I was also tempted to walk away and load the dishwasher... but I refrained.

As I was standing there, I started thinking about all the times Grandma made rice pudding just for me. When they were living in DC, she often made it when she knew we were coming over, and when she came to visit me, she brought me a big tupperware bowl just for me! Of course I appreciated it then... but I didn't understand all the labor and love cooked up in a big pot of rice pudding. I imagined her standing in her kitchen late at night, stirring and stirring and stirring and stirring... even though she probably had a hundred other things she could've been doing besides standing at the stove. I get it now. And I'm grateful she did it.

And now I'm passing that labor of love onto my family, because for the first time ever, I have created some yummy, creamy rice pudding... and I think it turned out beautifully! (Not a speck of scrambled eggs to be seen!) The question still remains... will they even like rice pudding? I'm not sure yet. Either way, I feel like a better mom for making it!

gave myself a headache

2011-09-26T12:12:00.003-04:00

Yesterday afternoon, I decided that I was going to "play legos" with the boys. What started out as a fun, creative afternoon, turned into me squinting and scrutinizing over thousands of lego pieces in search of every piece in a Fire Station lego set.

See, I've realized that they don't really get to play with their creations because they fall apart so easily, and end up in the "lego graveyard" (aka 3 giant plastic drawers) never to be seen again. So I took the advice of a friend and started the painful process of super-gluing a few favorites.

Eventually the boys lost interest... and the only remaining lego die-hard was yours truly. At one point I had to pee, but I was afraid I'd lose my focus, so I pushed on. I started getting hungry, but I perservered, until the boys brought me some granola bar scraps. I even ignored the taunting by my husband to give up.

It's now Monday afternoon, and I'm considering getting a good start on the hunt so they can build it when they get home. See, I'm a good mom... I simply hunt for the tiny pieces, so they can put it together. Although, for the record, it's killing me to wait... something about the need to finish a job.

But hey, our 12th anniversary is coming up... maybe I'll ask for a lego set!

This is how I would like to organize the legos... but the boys won't have it!

totally humiliated

2011-09-22T08:10:00.003-04:00

I think there's a point in your life where you decide that "public humiliation" is a thing of the past. No more being laughed at because you had a zit on your nose, or because you started your period in the junior high showers. (By the way, I'm just now admitting that last one... that's right it took me 20 years to come out about that one.)

I actually started to feel comfortable that I couldn't possibly endure anything worse. That is until last night. I found myself in a conference room surrounded by retired, probably menopausal women with a little too much power. There was a man or two there... but they were lacking a certain genitalia that would actually give them the gumption to stop such a thing from happening.

The meeting was called to order... a motion to start the judicial hearing was seconded... and then 8 pairs of eyes looked my direction.

I gave my "testimony" and then waited, as all eyes continued to look at me.... staring... waiting. I'm not fond of awkward silences, so I added a few more points and then asked if they had any questions. They did not. I then asked what the verdict was. Apparently, they needed time to deliberate and the results would be mailed to me. When I questioned why they couldn't speak to me and give me an idea of what kind of punishment to expect, one lady told me that "In sales, if you feel that you've presented your pitch to the best of your ability, then you just..." she then pulled an invisible zipper over her lips slowly, and sarcastically instructed me to, "stop talking."

So where do you think I was when all of this happened? On trial for murder? NOPE... the local Homeowner's Association.

What was my crime? Failure to remove vines from a brick wall.

I'll spare you the details of it all... but for the record, I did comply in a timely manner, and I personally removed all those vines myself. Is this a personal vendetta from a grumpy board president,you ask? I think so.

Nevertheless with no chance of appeal, I am at their mercy, full of adrenaline, as I pace in front of my mailbox.

"look at them guns"

2011-09-15T15:49:00.004-04:00

Today I was driving back from my morning of running errands, and came across a car that was blocking the right lane. A small, grandma-ish woman was on the side of the road mumbling, and putting her hands in the air. Cars were swerving around her and the car. As I got closer, I rolled down my window and asked what she needed. She was very shook up and I told her I was just going to pull over at the next street. She looked panicked as I drove away about 20 feet.

Turns out, she had a blown out tire. I drove grandma's car onto the side street behind my car and asked her who I could call. Her son was 1 hour away, and when he didn't seem to have a solution... I was left to figure out a plan. Meanwhile, another woman pulled over to help and she walked to the next block to ask for help from the police who was dealing with an accident. Although the police couldn't leave the accident scene, they put a call in for some help.

None of us were sure how long this would take and I couldn't, in good conscience, leave grandma by herself. I also couldn't sit there and do nothing, so I started rummaging through her trunk for a jack and spare tire. I had already loosened the lugnuts, and was in the process of jacking up the car, when a nice man pulled up and offered to help. I brushed off my jeans and handed the tire iron over to him.

Part of me was disappointed that I couldn't finish the job, but Brooks was in the car wailing at this point, so I had to relent. As I left, the man said, "I don't doubt you could've done this... just look at them guns." I think he was referring to my flabby, noodle arms when he said that. Nevertheless, I think he was right. I could've got the job done... although I would've been much slower and probably would've missed getting the other kids off the bus. So, as much as it killed me, I let a man finish the job.

I'd like to think I looked like this:

But I have a feeling I looked more like this:

thesaurus

2011-09-10T18:09:00.004-04:00

Frequently my two oldest boys find themselves writing sentences for not obeying or talking back. They don't particularly like it... but it quiets them down, and gives me a chance to process what I'm going to do next.

Caleb has simple sentences that he writes 5 to 10 to 15 times, depending on the offense. For example, his favorite sentence to write is, "I will not hit my brothers." ADDED BONUS: is that his handwriting has improved.

Josh, on the other hand, is capable of writing "essays". Depending on the offense, he is required to write 10 to 20 to 30 sentences that are all different. My hope is that he will actually think of reasons why he should not do something, and possibly commit it to memory.

Following are the 10 different sentences he wrote after he... well, you'll get the gist of what he did from HIS own words.

1. I will not be obnoxaus.
2. I will not be crazy.
3. I will not rough house.
4. I will not be wild.
5. I will not be brutish.
6. I will be civilized.
7. I will not be beastly.
8. I will not be a savage.
9. I will be sophisticated.
10.I will be polite.

ADDED BONUS: He has mastered the Thesaurus.

shuffle

2011-09-08T20:49:00.003-04:00

Tonight I plugged myself into my iPod... pressed "shuffle" and decided to listen to whatever came up next... no exceptions. I play these little games with myself to make chores more fun.

Normally my thought process while doing dishes is something like this, "how is possible we have this many dishes?.... gag a little as I grab the mushy bread in the corner of the sink... cram just one more cup in... crap, I forgot to rinse out that oatmeal bowl... tomorrow I'm only using paper plates!"
You get the idea.

But what happened next, was nothing short of miraculous! My thoughts were transformed into the following:

Endurance... Determination... Strength... Speed... I am strong... I can do it!

Click here to find out what song I was listening to tonight. It just might change your attitude about doing dishes!!!

Iguana poop

2011-09-06T16:29:00.002-04:00

Brooks and I just learned how to make strawberry plants grow on Go Diego Go. See, a big storm came and destroyed all the strawberry plants right before the Strawberry Festival! Oh no! Now Abuelito needs help to grow enough strawberries in time for the festival!

All they had to do was go into the rainforest and convince an Iguana to eat a whole bunch of strawberries, and then "hold it" until he gets to Abuelito's farm. Then Diego told the Iguano to poop out the seeds in the garden to plant the seeds. Despite the fact that Diego was talking about Iquana poop, I really thought there must be some catch. But I watched (almost in horror) as the Iguana walked among the rows in the garden, in perfectly straight rows, and "pooped out the seeds" so the strawberries will grow! Seriously, I'm NOT making this up!

Now I know why MY strawberries didn't grow very well this year. All I need to get next year is an iguana and strawberries!

Oh, and apparently I'm not the only one who thought that was weird. Here's a clip on YouTube so you can see for yourself. Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5WEibfjai0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ULif2iOtik0

'Twas the night before school....

2011-09-05T19:52:00.004-04:00

'Twas the night before school starts, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring... not even 3 rowdy little boys! SERIOUSLY! The house is empty, and I'm starting to get concerned!

It all started this morning when I woke up with a hangover... well, not really, because I haven't been drinking...nor have I ever! so who am I kidding? I don't even know what a hangover feels like. Well here, I'll just tell you how I felt and you can judge for yourself. I felt dizzy, nausious, head throbbing, and on the verge of passing out.... now doesn't that sound like a hangover to you???

ANYWAY, I think I literally felt the earth spinning on its axis today... so I spent the majority of the day on my left side with my eyes closed... some of the time I was asleep, but I was mostly awake. I tried to get up and get a few things done, but coming down the stairs was more like a roller coaster ride and sitting at the computer screen was like a trip to the IMAX.

So to help me out, Mike took the kids for the day. Apparently Josh had baseball practice tonight and so they're still all there. The house is quiet... it's dark... and we should be getting ready for school tomorrow, but there is no one around.

What's a mom to do???

earthquake!

2011-08-24T08:13:00.006-04:00

I was in the play area of McDonald's, and had to inform the other moms what was happening, since they had never felt anything like it before. They started to panick... but I calmly suggested that we ask the kids to come down from the rickety tower of tunnels 20 feet in the air, just in case. And although it lasted about 20-30 seconds, it had stopped before the kids even considered coming down. That's when I looked out the window and saw 15 men evacuate the McDonald's restaurant yesterday after the 5.8 earthquake was felt here in Richmond. And when I say "evacuate", I mean "running and looking both ways, and even towards the sky, with hands over their heads, literally fear-stricken".

Shortly afterwards you could hear people on cell phones, each giving their personal experience with the quake, confirming that "yes, that really was an earthquake."

After my kids had had their fill of romping in the tunnels above, we went to Walmart. I pulled into the parking lot and spotted a black SUV complete with flashing red/blue lights, and immediately started looking for Jack Bauer. Then I noticed several congergations of people standing around talking, along with 2 Walmart employees posted at each entrance. My first thought was that maybe there was an undercover, highly volitile, armed sting operation going on inside. (too many crime shows, I know)

Josh commented that it might have something to do with the earthquake, but I couldn't imagine what. So I got out of my car, only to have a hysteric woman run over and tell me that there was glass shattered everywhere and they had to close down Walmart. "Beacuse of the earthquake!!!!" she screamed! "We were inside during the earthquake and stuff was flying everywhere!... and it grabbed me with it's laser-vision and shook me like a dog!" (that last part was added for dramatic effect!)

She was a little overdramatic for my taste... but it was entertaining. Especially since she was just slightly more sophisticated then those people they enterview on the local news after a natural disaster. You know the type... curlers in their hair, sporting a ratty moo-moo, all while screaming, "It was Pandamonium, I tell you!...pure pandamonium!!!"

So I got back in the car and drove to Kroger. Things were definitely a little more calm there, but not near as satisfying as the Walmart and McDonald's drama! See, that's why I like to go there. You can't get that kind of entertainment just anywhere you know!

But all the drama and joking aside, earthquakes like that don't happen very often out here. It's kind of like snow... we just don't see it much! So people get scared. And in their defense, apparently there was some damage after yesterday's "small" earthquake. This photo was taken at a school very close to the "location". And thankfully, no one was injured from the earthquake.

And if you're like me, and find yourself making fun of all these "inexperienced earthquake survivors"... check out this article and find out more details about why this seemingly small earthquake had such an impact. I actually learned something today.
http://articles.courant.com/2011-08-23/news/hc-earthquake-0824-20110823_1_earthquake-reports-of-minor-damage-john-ebel

date night

2011-08-07T19:10:00.004-04:00

For our Friday night date night, I suggested to Mike that we watch the movie "7 Brides for 7 Brothers". I ordered it on Amazon and I haven't seen it since I lived at home... my sisters and mom would watch the VHS version over and over and over again. I'm not ashamed to say that I practically have it memorized. (all the better, right?)

Mike's first reaction to this idea was to say, "I know, why don't we curl up and watch it Sunday night?" Although I was intrigued by his cuddly terminology, I questioned the delay in watching it. The moment it occurred to me that he would be long gone in Chicago on Sunday night, I almost threw a pillow at him.

My hopes dashed... I sulked on the couch for not quite 3 minutes until he redeemed himself by sincerely insisting that we watch it. smart man.

Both of us were surprised at how much he enjoyed it! A good musical does everyone a little good! And now after two days of hearing him sing, "Bless yer beautiful hide..." I realize that we have an adoring fan of musicals in the family. And I don't even mind that he continues singing it as long as he remembers the phrase, "heavenly eyes... and just the right size!" :) right girls?

Isn't it ironic???...don't ya think?

2011-08-01T17:37:00.004-04:00

For the past 2 weeks, I haven't had a car because Mike was in a car accident. Everyone is safe and sound... but it turns out that the car is totalled, so we have to buy a new one. Irony #1: The car was almost paid off.

The week following the accident, Mike was super busy and couldn't go pick up a rental car for a few days. Irony #2: By the time he was available to pick it up, Enterprise was completely out of cars!

Meanwhile, I've been going crazy and have hardly left the house... but today when I called for a rental car, they actually had one available. HALLELUJIAH! It is now sitting in my drive-way. Irony #3: We're still stranded at home... not because we don't have wheels, but because I have cramps and the kids have been fighting all day!

Go figure!

Here is Mike's beloved Cadi... RIP RMAX 04!

No more lunches!

2011-06-17T08:15:00.005-04:00

So it's the LAST DAY OF SCHOOL! And I was thinking last night that it was my last night of packing lunches... and I rejoiced inside. FYI: I hate packing lunches. I dread it every single day, and I'm not sure why. It only takes about 10 minutes... and all summer, I will continue to make lunches for them every day. But for some reason when you have to pack it up, there's an extra stress involved. You have to be particular about what you put in; for example, no peanuts because of peanut allergies, making sure it's well rounded, trying to change it up a bit so they don't get tired of it and stop eating it... and making sure I have everything on hand, often includes a 9pm run to the grocery store, and I hate that! And did I mention, you also have to pack a snack??

Now some of you may wonder why it's such a big deal. To be honest, I'm not sure why myself. In fact, now that I'm writing that out, I'm wondering why I'm complaining about it... but it has never been something I've enjoyed, and now it's literally the bane of my existence... for some reason.

But today, I'm breathing a little easier because I don't have to do it. That is until next week, when Josh has scout camp... but after that, NEVER AGAIN! That is until next fall when they start school again.

Who am I kidding?

The truth is, I will be making lunches for 16 more years. There, I said it.

And before anyone says it... I know they could do it themselves. And for awhile, they did. But the OCD part of me goes crazy when they don't pack the bag right and risk smashing their sandwich. Or they only put in 3 grapes and 1,000 goldfish. The ironic thing, is that I know deep down that I want to pack their lunches... sort of a labor of love every day to make sure everything is just right, and on special occassions I like to throw in little surprises like candy or notes.

So yes, I'm going to enjoy the next 2,880 more days, or at least try.

fighting + talking back = ESSAY

2011-06-08T18:07:00.003-04:00

Written by Josh:

Being respectful to your mom is important because one of these things will happen to you! They will ground you, make you write sentences, write an essay like I'm doing now and smack your rear end till it starts to bleed. :( You should never talk back to your parents. My mom makes me write sentences and paragraphs and stories if I do those things and finally and last and next she'll ground me for life. The reason why my mom sent me to my room is because I was saying some things you should NEVER say to your mom or this will happen to you. She might also take your favorite things away like toys and your most favorite sport... like mine is baseball. Even tho my mom wants me to go to baseball, she still sometimes... only sometimes makes me not go because I don't deserve it. But I know she loves me. Even tho she may seem sometimes really made, she will still always love you.
The End.

He sure can be a stinker... but he's right... I do love him (more then he'll know)... and he's a handsome little bugger!

Oh... and for the record... I have NEVER smacked his read end til it bled. I just think it's hilarious that he wrote it.

Lather, rinse, rinse, rinse, rinse... DO NOT REPEAT!

2011-05-17T13:52:00.003-04:00

I was on the phone with a friend when I discovered this...

Lotion.Everywhere.

By the look on his face, do you think he's learned his lesson? I don't think so.

P.S. That's lotion in the crevices of his wrist...

If you didn't have to clean this up first thing this morning, consider yourself lucky.

Homonyms are tricky for 2 year olds!

2011-05-16T14:49:00.005-04:00

Homonym: one of a group of words that share the same spelling and the same pronunciation but have different meanings.

Before naptime, Brooks and I were reading a book about Pirates and all the fun facts that go along with Pirates, including guns, swords, stealing, plundering, and my personal favorite, torturing non-loyal pirates by hanging them in a cage until they die, only to have vultures come and eat their flesh until there's nothing left but a skeleton. I know what you're thinking... hardly appropriate for a 2 year old. And I agree. But the problem is this book is very interactive, featuring a pop-up ship, levers and pull tabs that change the pictures. It's very cool, so I just skip over the flesh-eating birds part for Brooks' sake, and honestly, my own. But I digress.

When we got to the page about the Pirate Booty, aka Pirate Treasure or "Monies" as Brooks calls it, I pointed to the treasure box and asked him what it was. He confidently said, "Pirate Bum!" Apparently in our house, the words "booty" and "bum" are used interchangably!

Here he is showing his wingspan compared to other birds of prey... the eagle and hawk.

I really didn't teach them this.

2011-05-15T21:50:00.003-04:00

Today after church, we watched a completely "Sunday Appropriate", in my opinion, movie entitled "UP!" I knew once I curled up and buried myself in a compfy blanket that I wouldn't last long. I was right. I only saw the first 20 minutes. I awoke an hour later to the main menu music repeatedly playing over and over and over again... and to Caleb stomping down the stairs, obviously in a rush. I pretended to act like I cared, and asked him what they were doing up there.

He could hardly contain his excitement as he told me about a new game they invented. Disoriented from sleep, I struggled to grasp the complicated rules as he rattled them off in half finished sentences. Here are the high points: When you win a challenge you get to take the other person's money. When you lose, you have to give the other person your money. He then grabbed his bank full of "cash" and stomped back up the stairs.

It wasn't until a few minutes later that I put two and two together.

My sons are gambling on Sunday. Great. I curled up and slept for another 25 minutes, because afterall, they were playing nicely.

The love of my life...

2011-04-25T07:54:00.005-04:00

I never thought I would have love affair with a white, plastic contraption. But the truth is, I'm totally crushing on this little beauty here. It has brought peace and harmony and most importantly, sleep, back into our home!

Ever since little 2 1/2 year old Brooks could climb out of the crib and take it apart, forcing his advancment to a "toddler" bed, at what seems to me as an insanely early age, our life has changed. And things got even worse when he broke the code on the child-proof door knob. He suddently started dictating WHEN he wanted to wake up, WHO he wanted to wake up, and WHERE he would go when he wakes up! (My biggest fear being out the front door!)

Well yesterday, on a glorious Easter morning our happy, sweet little Brooks was transformed (by lack of sleep) into a breakfast-throwing, candy-clenching, fist-pounding, back-arching, kicking-feet-of-fury... MONSTER!

As I sat there in the mother's lounge at church, trying to console him and possibly coax him into a 5 minute power nap, I vowed that I would install the door lock that arrived the day before in the mail. I was also kicking myself for not putting in on immediately the night before! ugggg...

So after the Easter festivities were over... and after I had wrestled a slippery, fresh-out of the tub Brooks into pajamas, I pulled out the drill.

GUESS WHAT? IT WORKED!

Around 6 am this morning, I awoke to the beloved sound of crying in the baby monitor, which could only mean one thing... he was stuck in his room! VICTORY! I staggered down the hallway to find books oozing out from beneath his door, like he was attempting to set them free, despite being still trapped himself. I went in, scooped him up and wrapped him up in his blanket that he loves, and just rocked him for a few minutes. I kept thinking to myself... "This is what a mom should do... soothe a crying baby and put them back to sleep, rather then rolling out of bed to find all three kids bright-eyed and bushy-tailed at 3am!"

After about 2 minutes, he pointed to his bed... so I tucked him in and he rolled over and went to sleep. I was able to grab a few more minutes of sleep before getting the other 2 up for school.

And now, after a couple weeks of torture from a sleep-deprived, cranky 2 year old, I look forward to the cries in the baby monitor, which can mean only one simple thing... HE IS CONTAINED... but more importantly, STILL SNOOZING AT 8:24 AM!

Blog title asside... these are the REAL loves of my life!

Feeling thrifty...

2011-04-11T13:07:00.005-04:00

This may look like an ordinary toddler bed to you... but don't be deceived... things aren't what they appear!

Join me on my journey of discovery:

1) Brooks figured out how to get out of his crib.

2) He actually learned how to dismantle the crib completely. So I took the crib apart immediately and put his mattress on the floor, as a temporary solution until I could think of something better. But the result was a complete eye sore and constant source of frustration when I had to put his "bed" back together every day.

3) I debated putting Brooks into the double bed which is already in his room, but the mattress was too thick to put a railing on the side, and it felt cruel to just let him fend for himself in there.

4) I thought about moving Josh into the big bed, giving him a room of his own... but that would mean that Brooks and Caleb would then share a room... and I'm NOT ready for that dynamic. Not to mention giving Josh the satisfaction of winning me over to a room of his own. I just don't think it's fair for him at a young age of 9 years old, for him to have a secret, private place of his very own, when I have NEVER, in the history of my 32 years have had a bedroom to myself. But I digress, yet again.

5) So I went on a search for a toddler bed... but I wasn't willing to spend $50 or more to get one (I know, I'm cheap!). So I abandoned the issue, and thought I would have to just deal with the annoyance of him sleeping on the floor.

But then one day, it just came to me like a light bulb switching on... like a ray of sunshine from the heavens... like a gust of wind sweeping into mind... (okay, I'll stop with the metaphors)...

This was my epiphany!
Using my #10 cans of food storage as a base for the bed...

Then using the crib board laid on top of the cans... for a make-shift "boxspring". Then I pinned the crib skirt to fit around and cover up the cans.

And TAH-DAH! It's a win-win! I didn't have to spend a dime or change the sleeping arrangments... and I have a place to hid my food storage!... and now Brooks has a cute little bed of his very own... and he LOVES IT!!!

How did you spend your Sunday?

2011-04-10T18:37:00.003-04:00

This was my Sunday...

Sunday mornings are a whirl-wind of button-up shirts, ties, black socks and hair gel. By the time I dried my hair and was packing up the "church bag", I finally got a good look at Caleb. His eyes were a crusty, watery, red mess, and he was squinting from the light. My executive decision to take him to Patient First was based on the fact that he poked his eye with a bookmark 2 days prior, combined with his allergic reaction to pollen resulting in severe irritation.

After an hour in the waiting room, we ran out of things to "I-Spy"... so, luckily we were called back to the exam room, aka 2nd waiting room. The doctor, who I wasn't even sure spoke fluent English and kept tilting her head to the side like she didn't understand me, put these colored drops in his eyes so she could see if there was any "trauma" to his eyes. I had to keep in my laughter as she held up the florescent/black light and revealed his glow-in-the-dark eyeballs that suddenly had a radio-active glow to them. I was certain Caleb would've gotten a kick out of this and wished I had my camera to take a picture.

Her diagnosis was "trauma and irritation to his eyes" and she perscribed a saline irrigation along with drops and ointment. Just to get him to the doctor's office, I had to bribe him with Swedish Fish and promise him that they would probably only put a few drops in his eyes and look at them. So I started sweating at the word "irrigation" and decided to forego telling him what they were going to do until the nurse came back in to carry it out. When she pulled out the enormous bag of water, I tried not to gasp.

He had to lay on the table with his head hanging over the edge, with a pan of water below to catch all the water. Then she got out the tube and told him it would be shocking at first, but he had to keep his eyes open and be brave. I was worried how he would do with eye drops, let alone flushing out his eyes with 250 cc's! As I watched him grip the sidebars of the bed, and stiffen up like a corpse, this "saline irrigation" more accurately resembled water-boarding! Turns out, Caleb is a lot braver then I thought, and would outlast any interrogator... He was a trooper and did great!

So after 2 hours, we were finally on our way out... SIDEBAR: and then we ran into someone we knew. As it turns out, I've decided that Patient First is a weird place to run into people you know. I think it might rank up there with prison, because you can't really ask, "Hey, what are you in for?" without risking serious embarrassment when they answer "hemmroids... or... severe constipation". You just have to say hello, and make a quick exit!

But I'm a "glass full" kind of girl... so what's the bright side? Turns out, Caleb thinks the eye drops are a breeze compared to irrigating! Hope your Sunday was as good as ours!

Under the looking glass

2011-01-18T12:58:00.004-05:00

Unlike what you may think, I do try to maintain a little bit of dignity around here. But in writing on a public blog, I feel there is a fine line between divulging enough information to make you appear human... and keeping some things private enough to retain that much desired self dignity. Today I fear that I just might cross that line to appease my husband who has been begging me for the past 5 days to write about a recent incident.

While Brooks was playing quietly down the hallway, in the playroom, I stole away 10 minutes to take a shower with the bathroom door shut, rather then locked. Let me explain. On the weekends, when my two oldest boys are home I have to keep the door locked while showering because my shower is surrounded with pure glass walls on all sides. To date, I have not found an adequate contraption to shield myself from the view of anyone who enters. Thus, I started locking the door to sudden interruptions and definite embarrassment for all parties involved. But when it's just my 2 year old at home, I have to remain somewhat accessible in case of an emergency involving a non-functioning toy or the ending of Sesame Street.

So, I was just rinsing out the shampoo (3 minutes in), when I saw the bathroom door open. I attempted to be as non-chalant and discreet as possible, so I turned away to avoid further investigation. Little did I know that he was grasping a little tiny magnifying glass in which the handle barely fit in his chubby little hand, and the lens was about the size of the ping pong ball. He came over to the shower door and held the magnifying glass up, causing his eye ball to triple in size, while saying one of his most commonly uttered "phrases"... "Ahh ahh ahhhhh?"

I'm torn. Part of me feels a little disturbed that my son was using a magnifying glass to spy on me in the shower... and the other part can't stop laughing at the image of his curious GIANT eye ball!
On the contrary, here's a picture of Brooks with his eyes shut tight!

Wake Up Call

2011-01-06T10:36:00.003-05:00

8:00 p.m. is the new midnight. By then I really feel dead tired after scaring the last few homework sheets into backpacks, wiping the counter tops for the ump-teenth time, picking up yet another Nerf gun dart, and wrestling 3 kids into pajamas... I'm pooped.

But I found myself at Walmart due to a shortage of pull-ups, and I can't risk him going to bed without one yet... I'll save my rantings on that one for a different post. But while I was there, I figured I would make a mad dash around the store picking up a few needed items. This was going to be a "quick trip". Although I never cease to amaze myself with how much I can get done without chilluns in tow, so just 30 minutes, and one heaping cart full of food later, I was ready to check out.

I don't need to go into detail about Walmart check-out lines, so I propped my foot up on my cart and thumbed through the latest People Magazine to pass the time. Once again I was not disappointed with top-breaking news about what celebrities wore to the Oscars, that I never watched... and which actors look so much alike they could be brothers, but SURPRISE, they're not... and the rumored break-up of Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansen. SIDEBAR: I didn't even know they were married. And I was surprisingly engrossed by all this, until I noticed that the cashier had stopped scanning items and leaned her elbows down on the scanner. This didn't look good.

I'm not sure of the details... but when I noticed that that the lady in front of me was asking for items to be taken out of her cart to bring her total down, I knew it might be awhile. But changing lanes was not an option at this point... I was invested in this lane. I could almost touch the conveyor belt, and it would be stupid to abandon my position at this point.

20 minutes later I was forced to put back my trashy magazine and start loading my items on the belt. I have a system for this. Large, heavy, and often frozen items up front... boxes and cans next... and lastly bread, eggs, fruits and veggies. But I digress.

I was busy grabbing loaded grocery bags and strategically placing them back in my cart, when the cashier, after noticing that I purchased some under eye concealer, said, "You know, if you put a little white eye liner in the corners of your eyes, it will brighten them up and not make you look so tired." I literally inhaled my spit and felt the burn in my throat as I tried to figure out what just happened.

I admit, I wasn't exactly dressed for a night out on the town... although an evening trip to Walmart is often the closest thing I get to one... But hey, I showered... and I had jeans on. Now that's pretty classy, if you ask me.

I glanced back to the lady behind me, and we both secretly rolled our eyes.

After recovering from my spit inhilation, I managed to squeak out, "Well, I chose not to put on make-up today."

She tried desperately to reverse her rudeness by saying that I looked "surprisingly pretty for no make-up."

I forced a smile, but couldn't muster out a "thank-you" for fear I might start critiquing her flaws in revenge.

Tired, but not degrated, I loaded up the car and drove home singing as loud as I could to the radio. I couldn't unload the groceries right then, because I had to deliver the pull-ups to my 5 year old and get him in bed. My husband was upstairs starting the "bedtime routine" and once we summed up the job's at hand (putting kids to bed AND unloading the groceries), we willlingly switched places. I tickled a couple backs, and read a couple stories... and I could hear Mike rustling plastic bags and shutting cupboard doors below. Job well done.

Nothing like a little "wake-up-call" to put the whole day into perspective. I looked tired... because I was. But I wouldn't have it any other way. I love my life.

Here are a few attempts at our Christmas Picture on Christmas Eve.

Merry Christmas 2010

2010-12-01T11:58:00.000-05:00

This year it snowed BEFORE CHRISTMAS... so here's a little video of us playing in it!
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

Love,
The Trentadue's
Mike, KaLisi, Josh (8), Caleb (5), Brooks (2)

The best morning ever...

2010-11-22T11:36:00.002-05:00

This morning, my alarm went off at 6am. I saw the hallway light flick on, so I knew the boys were up. I snoozed til 6:30, and then dragged my tired bum to the shower. By the time I got downstairs, it was 6:47. I could hear Josh and Caleb exchanging pleasantries. They informed me that the snacks and lunches were already made, they had already eaten breakfast... and they were obviously dressed. With nothing else to do, I went back upstairs to dry my hair, until it was time to head for the bus.

After careful reflection of this scenario, I figured I had two options:

1) I could feel guilty at the thought of my 8 and 5 year old fending for themselves while I snoozed in my bed. OR...
2) I could feel confident in knowing that I trained them right, in order to be independent and responsible.

I chose the latter.

Josh and Caleb on the 1st day of school. Aren't they handsome?

quite alarming!

2010-11-18T14:43:00.003-05:00

This morning I had to run some errands, so after packing a diaper bag and buckling Brooks in his car seat, thankfully I noticed that Mike's car was parked behind mine. (I say that because one time I didn't realize that, and ended up backing into his car... not my finest moment).

I was about to unlock his car, but noticed that it was already unlocked from when I drove the boys to the bus stop earlier that morning. So I just opened the door. *BEEP BEEP BEEP!* The alarm started blaring.... and I suddenly became soooooooo confused. I had both sets of car keys in my hand and I thought that I must have hit the alarm button on the "car remote thingy". I did my best to choose the right set of keys and pushed the button, only to set off the other car honking. So I had two simultaneously honking cars in my driveway, and I had no idea how to stop it. In a panic, I randomly started pushing both sets of buttons, trying desperately to differentiate between the honks so I could push the corresponding alarm button. But as soon as I got my car turned off, and tried to shut off Mike's car, the button wouldn't work, so I would try my car again and set it off honking again. The more the honking went on, the more flustered I got! I even succumbed to screaming out loud and jumping around like a crazy person... as if that would help the situation.

After what seemed like 7 minutes, I finally figured out that Mike's car was the original honking car, but the remote control thingy didn't work. At this point, I finally managed a logical thought, "Maybe I set off the alarm by opening the door in the first place." So with both sets of keys still clutched in my hands, I slammed the car door shut with my foot, and tried Mike's alarm button one final time. SILENCE.

I felt like I just defused a ticking time bomb and let out a loud "Whoo-hoo!", complete with a little fist-pump in the air to celebrate. That's when I heard it.... a scuffle on the pavement behind me. I did a slow turn to my right and saw a lady walking her dog. I felt I deserved a congratulations for a job well-done. But she did a quick spin and just set off walking again, pretending like she didn't notice the undeniable commotion. That's when the embarrassment set it. Why do I always have witnesses when I do something stupid. *sigh*

My thoughts drifted back to Brooks, who was still helplessly strapped in the backseat, and I was worried he might have gotten scared during the blaring madness! But upon opening the car door, he immediately started clapping and said, "Mommy... What?" (2 of the very few words he can actually say) I felt validated by his applause, and did a mini bow! Ta-Dah!

It may be yes, or it may be no.

2010-11-15T16:46:00.015-05:00

That's the answer I got when I googled "metal bowl in microwave".

Why did I google that?

Because I saw a bowl of half-cooked, half-eaten instant oatmeal on the counter Sunday morning. Only after I wondered why it wasn't fully cooked, did I realize that the bowl was in fact METAL. If there's one thing I know about microwave cooking, it's not to put anything metal in there. I'm afraid my 8 year old son is NOT aware of this important rule.

So rather then letting images of lighting bolts and flames run rampant in my brain, I went straight to "Google" for an explanation of what exactly would happen. The possible scenarios ranged from "nothing would happen" to "metal would expand and possibly blow up, flames or lighting bolts could result causing serious injury, metal heating up to volcanic temperatures causing severe burns upon removal." (scenarios may or may not be exaggerated by my imagination and for dramatic effect)

I finally broke down and asked Josh the details. In order to get the "real" story, I tried to be subtle, so as not to cause alarm. Here's how the conversation went.

Mom: So, did you enjoy your oatmeal this morning?
Josh: Yup.
Mom: It looked a little undercooked... are you sure it tasted good?
Josh: Yup. I like it that way.
Mom: So what made you not cook it all the way?
Josh: I just wanted to try it.
Mom: So nothing happened with the microwave?
Josh: Nope.

Later on I told Mike about the "Metal Bowl Incident of November 14th, and after making sure that no damage was caused to the microwave, he initiated the following conversation.

Dad: So, did you put a metal bowl in the microwave? (His voice was smothered in a boyhood curiosity for all things dangerous)
Josh: Yeah, it was a full-on lighting storm in there!

They practically were high-fiving each other and doing chest-bumps! I guess my "approach" in trying to get the truth was all wrong. Boys.

At least he didn't do THIS.

take a picture... it'll last longer!

2010-11-12T14:39:00.005-05:00

I just spent a good part of my day wiping fingerprints, smudges and streaks from my kitchen cabinets and walls. Not my favorite thing to do on a sunny Friday afternoon. But the alternative of encrusted surfaces is not an option I like either. I'm WAY too OCD for that.

I know what some of you are thinking... "Oh, cherish those little fingerprints while you can... before you know it, they'll be all grown up and gone." You're right. To some degree. In fact, I can't argue the fact that the hands in my family are getting bigger and more grown up. One might even think that the result of that fact would mean less evidence left behind of their presence. But the truth of the matter is... the evidence is still here... just slightly higher on the wall then before, which means much more surface area for ME to clean.

While we're on the subject, cleaning is not my favorite thing to do. Nevertheless, I do it every day... in one room or another, and I actually take great pride in a clean home. Although the whole thing may not be perfectly cleaned all at once, I get around to most of it sooner or later. But I never get a break from it. So if there's one little thing that I can cross off my list of never-ending-things-to-clean, it would definitely be washing cabinets and walls because it seems so simple... just don't touch the walls!

Case in point: I do not need another reminder of the 3 boys living in our house, thereby giving me one more thing to clean.

So, how do I cherish those little fingers and toes, if I refuse to let them stay on my walls? I TAKE A PICTURE! I'd much rather reminisce about those chubby little patties by seeing them first-hand in my scrapbook, (aka file of photos still embedded safely on my computer in original digital format), as opposed to trying to squeeze some cuteness out of a dirty, nasty imprint left behind.

See what I mean??

Are you convinced?

It's like hypnosis...

2010-11-09T08:49:00.003-05:00

If you have kids... you might have heard of UmiZoomi. If not, here's a quick recap... Basically, it's a little cartoon where miniature super heroes, with tiny super powers, come to the rescue of children who face serious life-threatening dilemmas that range from broken playground equipment to a stranded ice cream truck.

This show has proved to be purely hypnotizing to my 2 year old. He even gets that "sleepy-retarded" look as he lays on the couch propping up his head in his hands. I've even caught my husband trapped in a glazed state as his mouth falls open. My favorite part is when the girl superhero changes her outfit in a swirl to imitate dandelion fuzz, or her pig tails turn into a measuring tape. Seriously, it's mesmerizing.

And according to Brooks, the best part is If you stay tuned til the end where you'll be honored to participate in the ever popular "Craaaaazzzzzy Shake!"... Team UmiZoomi!... WAY TO GO!!!

If you're dying to see first-hand what all the fuss is about... you can get a glimpse here...
Team UmiZoomi Video

fortune tellers...

2010-11-05T19:44:00.005-04:00

Do you remember these? Paper fortune tellers that you used to make in elementary and junior high? I remember writing things like, "You will marry your best friend." or "You will have 7 kids!" Well apparently, they're back... but not like I remember!

One of the neighbor kids was making one of them at our kitchen table. Josh was intrigued with the concept of the mysterious origami wonder. To assist in coming up with fortunes, Josh blurted out, "You will have explosive diarrhea for the rest of your life!"

It never occurred to me to write such blasphemy when I was 8 years old. I swear these boys are born with it... because I NEVER taught them this!

Turns out, the neighbor boy was making the fortune teller as a study guide for a homework assignment. That's my boy!

shame.

2010-11-04T07:29:00.004-04:00

It finally happened. Or maybe it's already happened, and this was just the first time I noticed it. But today it finally caught up with me.

My lack of shame... and my children's awareness of shame came to a head today. It was very subtle. In fact, I almost didn't notice it.

It is raining today. Not a full on down pour... and not a drizzle... But a good rain. So as soon as I rolled out of bed, I knew I didn't have to comb my hair this morning. The clouds make an already dark morning even darker, so no one would see me huddled in my car at 7:15 am. I fixed lunches and snacks while they ate breakfast and got themselves ready. It was a pleasant, low-key morning.

7:12 am: Time to load up in the car and head to the bus.

"Do you want me to bring an umbrella so I can walk you right up to the bus?" I asked.

Josh, giving me a quick up-and-down inspection and taking full notice of my fleece bathrobe, or house coat as my Grandma's call it, said, "No, we can just run up there really fast."

Caleb went as far as to say, "Can we actually walk there by ourselves?" Mind you, it's pouring down rain. I would be considered the worst mother in the world if I sent them out there walking to the bus by themselves in the rain.

"I'll go put on some pants?" I pleaded.

Both of them shook their heads.

Please be aware that I didn't want anyone to see me either... it's not like I enjoy people seeing my bed-head hair and bathrobe. But desperate times come for desperate measures. But just to be safe, I put a coat on over my robe, so at least from the waist up, while I sat in the car, no one would notice that I wasn't actually wearing clothes.
Check out this gal...she's actually strutting around a construction site in her skivvies. My problem is, I don't look this cute in the morning.

it could have been so much worse...

2010-10-29T23:20:00.003-04:00

Brooks didn't take a nap today. He sat up in his bed for 2 hours. He talked. He played. He banged on the wall. He was happy. But he eventually had enough, and started crying. After about 3 minutes, I knew that there was NO chance he would be falling asleep, so I went upstairs to release him.

He was standing up in his crib crying. He was bottomless. In his hands, he clutched an open diaper filled with poop!

If I didn't know any better, I think he had pooped as soon as I laid him down and he couldn't take it anymore, and decided to change his own diaper. Unsure of how to dispose of it, he just held it there on the other side of the railing as if he was trying to get it as far away from him as possible... but was completely aware that it could fall onto the floor, so he just held onto it.

No poop was to be found on any surface. Seriously, this kid is way beyond his years!

Crackin' Down

2010-10-25T13:36:00.005-04:00

Lately I've felt like such a mean mom! I feel like I spend more time getting mad and inflicting consequences (aka pain and torture, according to my kids), resulting in tears shed, doors slammed and severe pouting by all parties. That is, until last night.... DUN-DUN-DUN!

Then it occurred to me. The problem isn't about me being too mean, but rather, me being too nice! I don't let them get away with murder... but I realized that I try to give my kids the benefit of the doubt. I don't like them to suffer. And to be perfectly honest, I don't want to make my life miserable, so I tend to look the other way on some things.

THE END RESULT???
2 boys that are completely rotten! They fight, argue and scream about EVERYTHING! They ignore their chores... but I'm often too busy to notice. They have no manners. They talk back. In essence, THEY DRIVE ME CRAZY!!!

SOLUTION: I'm going to start crackin' down, baby! But not by getting mad... I realized that I don't have to make their life miserable. My goal is to make them accountable. Bottom line... I don't have to be mean to be "THE MOM!" I WILL remain calm. I WILL be consistent. I WILL succeed.

would you rather ... ?

2010-10-19T19:23:00.003-04:00

This was our conversation at dinner:

Josh: Would you rather be shot by a gun ... or ... sit in a bucket of Matthew snot? (apparently Matthew is a snotty nosed kid from school)

Caleb: Sit in a bucket of Matthew snot.

Loud shrieking laughs!

Josh: Would you rather sit in a bucket of Matthew snot... or ... live in the wild?

Caleb: Live in the wild.

Josh: Would you rather drink acid pee instead of water ... or ... be shot out of volcano of salsa?

Caleb and Me: Be shot out of a volcano of salsa.

( I can't believe I'm playing along at this point?)

Josh: Would you rather not eat for 4 days ... or... eat boogers for 1 day?

Caleb and Me: Not eat for 4 days.

And the grand finale...

Josh: Would you rather poop throw up ... or... throw up poop?

Me and Caleb: Poop throw up.

The image this brings to mind is purely sickening.

See what I have to live with?

I'M GOING TO SCREAM!!!

2010-10-14T16:07:00.002-04:00

The aftermath of 2 boys coming home from school and 1 waking up from a nap is seriously detrimental to the appearance of my house! I had the whole downstairs picked up and almost clutter free. And now it looks like a tornado! I told them not to make messes that they weren't willing to clean up... and what did they do?

While I was making dinner (WAY ahead of schedule, by the way) something terrible happened! This is the evidence that was left:
-30 (or more) erasers dumped and scattered all over the kitchen table
-homework pages and books strewn about the kitchen floor
-couch cushions upheavaled
-crumbs... it doesn't really matter where they are... I just hate crumbs!
-dirty socks... need I say more?

and this is just downstairs.

The only thing that brings me peace, is that I'm not going to pick up a single thing! THEY WILL DO IT ALL!!! Mmmmwhhaaaaaa aahhh aahhh aaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!

reverent.

2010-10-06T20:55:00.003-04:00

Tonight Brooks was the most reverent he has ever been during family prayer. I almost didn't notice at first. But I soon realized that there was no giggling... no running... no somersaulting... no slamming of doors... no climbing on our legs and backs. NOTHING! Just the sound of Caleb's little voice asking us to be safe while Dad's away... and for Dad's safety on his trip.

Half way through I peeked open my eyes and saw why Brooks was so quiet.

He was kneeling up against Josh's bed with his little arms folded and his head in his arms... NAKED... Naked as a baby jay bird.

We just might be implementing a new family prayer rule... 1) Fold your arms, 2) Close your eyes, 3) Kneel down, 4) Get in your birthday suit!
Brooks - July 2009

Green... gooey... need I say more?

2010-10-05T08:08:00.004-04:00

What's the first thing that comes to mind when you hear those words?... GREEN and GOOEY!

Yesterday at dinner, I was actually enjoying the stimulating conversation about various bus-riding do's and don'ts. The conversation then shifted to talking about a certain "nerd" at school. Sidebar: I don't like this word... NERD.

Confession time... the word NERD always strikes a chord inside of me because sadly, I can very much relate to that word. Only 14 years since graduation, and I'm finally saying it, "I was a nerd!" Complete with large glasses, and braces... I sheepishly walked the halls of my middle school. Although I ditched the glasses before going to high school, I was still quiet and mousy. My confidence grew a bit with each year, and by Senior year, I think I was only slightly awkward.

But, I digress.

These "blast from the past" feelings provoked a lesson on treating everyone the same, regardless of "nerdiness" or "weirdness" or "stinkiness" or "geekiness" or "clutziness". I just wanted my boys to treat everyone with respect and be nice to everyone and be friends with everyone.

THAT'S WHEN IT HAPPENED. Amidst all this warm and fluffy chatting about friendships and kindness and brotherly love --(insert rainbows and unicorns in here too)-- I felt a little swipe on my back.

I looked over at Caleb, who was sporting a gawky, guilty smirk. Josh's face was twisted in disgust. Thanks to my "nerdy background", it didn't take long for me to put 2 and 2 together and make sense of their face combinations.

"Did you just wipe a booger on my back?" I asked.

Caleb erupted into giggles. Josh insisted that I go to the bathroom and look in the mirror. There.it.was. A green, gooey smear across my back. -- (insert gags and dry heaves here) --

I realized right then and there, after careful reflection upon my life since mothering only boys, that I am often the brunt of a lot of practical jokes, teasing, towel snapping... and now, booger wiping... pranks! Despite my best efforts to evolve, I am clearly outnumbered, apparently making me the honorary NERD of the family!

Peace of Mind

2010-10-01T15:15:00.005-04:00

"I have a hole in my foot!" Josh's upper lip contorted in 7 different directions before his eyes welled with tears and he sobbed as he climbed back in the car!

Caleb was practically giddy as he did a little quick-step back and forth on the pavement and begging for me to do it again!

Brooks squealed with delight at seeing his brothers again.

...5 MINUTES EARLIER...

On the way home from a birthday party, all three boys were fighting over everything from party favors to who saw the slug-bug first. I was suffering from mild heat stroke due to sitting in the wretched sun at a baseball game, which presented itself in the form of a massive head ache. I was sweaty from cleaning all afternoon. And my legs ached, just because. I couldn't imagine driving home another minute with the screeching from the back seat.

So in an instant, I swerved into an empty parking lot without a plan. I thought about just sitting there until they could calm down. I've tried this before. But that would only torture me further, since it usually takes them 5 minutes to realized we stopped in the first place. So I ordered Josh and Caleb out of the car. I still had no idea what I was doing at this point. But I couldn't stand to look at them another minute. I had to repeat the order 7, 8, 9, 10, 11 times before they got out. I responsibly waited until both boys were clear of the car, then I sped away! I thought about leaving the parking lot completely only to come back eventually, but I worried they would try to follow me onto the busy road. So I just circled them, weaving around light posts and medians. With every turn, I would catch a glimpse (often in my rear-view mirror) of them attempting to anticipate my next move as they zig-zagged back and forth. The whole time, they were running almost full-speed. Did I mention that Josh was shoeless?

After a couple minutes (literally 2 minutes), I figured they had had enough. So I stopped and allowed them to catch up to me. I rolled down the window and Josh screamed at me! I told him calmly that he needed some more time to think about how he had been acting... and then I drove off again!

By this time, I was feeling rejuvenated! Instead of anxiety and anger, I felt amusement, with only a smidge of guilt. I made one final loop among the empty parking spaces and slowed to a stop right next to my tired offspring.

"Mommy just needed a little quite time!" I said happily.

Josh grumbled inaudibly under his breath and Caleb begged me to do it again!

On the way home, we continued to have a discussion about the importance of behaving politely and quietly in the car. When I passed our street and kept going, they both questioned where I was going.

"I'm going to get you all turned around, so when I drop you off, you won't know how to get home!" I teased.

Both little bodies froze, and I could see their eyes on me in my rear-view mirror....

"Cool!" they both said in unison!

I did end up dropping them off on the side of the road... and they took a well-known short-cut through the trees... and beat me to the house!

(Random running pictures)

unexcused absence

2010-09-16T14:57:00.003-04:00

I stumbled out of bed this morning at 6:37am, wrapped myself in my robe, fumbled with my glasses, ran a hand through my hair and realized that it was going to take some work to tame the bird's nest I had going on up there... I made my way into the hallway to find Josh already up and dressed, which was a pleasant surprise.

But as my eyes adjusted to the light I saw Caleb's silhouette sitting motionless in the doorway of the playroom at the end of the hall. My heart jumped when, as I started walking closer, he growled, "Get away from me... I don't want to go to school!" His glare pierced my soul... and it suddenly felt like a scene from Poltergeist as he started clawing at me to get away from him. For the next 25 minutes I attempted an exorcism to release poor Caleb from his devilish nemesis, in order to make the bus on time.

I was unsuccessful.

Instead, I sent Caleb back to bed and confined him to the house all day with nothing to do but read books and complete random homework assignments of my choosing, in hopes that I would make him so miserable that he would learn his lesson about staying home from school. I had forgotten how resilient Caleb is, so it was not surprising that after a brief nap, he was bounding around the house in a Sesame Street sort of way completing any chore I could think of. The playroom floor was covered with books and he was happy as can be. When I pulled out the Kindergarten workbook and made him trace every letter, he was literally whistling! The only exception was when he had to complete a real homework assignment that is due tomorrow. He suddenly developed ADD like symptoms and was having trouble focusing. But, I hardly blame him after hours of working.

It's still unclear to me whether or not he learned his lesson about staying home from school. I guess only time will tell. Now the problem I face, is how to convince the school secretary that "possessed by an evil spirit" should be considered an excused absence.

my 2nd wind....and my 100th post!

2010-09-15T07:54:00.005-04:00

I'm not a morning person. I stay up too late, by choice. Last night I perused through the free copy of Parenting Magazine that came in the mail. I know I need my 8 hours and I know should go to bed... but I like to stay up late.

But now that school has started and my alarm goes off at 6:30 am, I have to do a lot of self-talk to get out of bed in the morning after only 6 hours of sleep. It's painful. But today I convinced myself that I would get back in bed after the bus leaves and snooze the morning away. That's the only thing that would make getting out of bed an option. This morning, I needed that option.

So against my will, I rouse the boys from their slumber. They look like they could sleep for a few more hours, so the temptation is great to just turn around and go back to bed, but I open the curtains anyway. Josh pops up out of bed right away. But Caleb needs more convincing. Eventually, they are up and moving... but they are causing a ruckus!

Loud commotion in the morning is unacceptable, especially today, because it might wake up Brooks... and then all hopes of an early morning nap are off! So when the morning started off with teasing and squealing and loud teeth-brushing and stomping, I started threatening, and "evil eye" giving, and shush-ing!

Then it's off to the bus... and back again. My body is heavy and my eyes are burning. But now I'm too awake to go to sleep. I just lay there.... Blast it all!

I hate waking up at 6:30!

First day of school

2010-09-07T20:56:00.001-04:00

All decked out in their "semi-new" clothes, (we didn't really have a need to go school shopping because they have a ton of shirts, that they never wear, which includes, but is not limited to collared shirts... although they did get new shoes...) Josh and Caleb were excited for the first day of school. CORRECTION: Caleb was excited, Josh was annoyed. Thank goodness for peer pressure, because once we started walking toward the bus and seeing other kids emerging from their houses, he started to get on board.

After a smooth morning of eating breakfast and taming some unruly hair, I thought we were off to a great start leaving 10 minutes early to account for any first day mishaps. Good thing too... because I ended up having to sprint back to the house because I forgot to pin Caleb's "school bus tag" on him. For those of you who are not aware what this is... this is a very crucial part of his wardrobe because it clearly identifies him as a "Kindergartner" and should he get lost, it would notify any adult where he should be.

It was a bitter-sweet moment to see that big, yellow cheesewagon round the corner. I snapped a quick picture, and headed toward the already crowded bus. There didn't appear to be any empty seats in the front, (where the K's usually sit) so I, along with all the other Kindergarten moms were nervously pointing out our little K's. The driver shrugged his shoulders and just said, "I'm full, they just have to find a seat."

I felt so helpless, walking along the outside of the bus, watching Caleb's eyes scan the seats of the bus as he kept shuffling further and further to the back of the bus! But thank goodness for older brothers... although Josh temporarily forgot about Caleb as he bounded on the bus... he eventually "took him under his little brotherly wing" and they sat together about 5 seats from the back of the bus. (breath sigh of relief because at least they were together)

Now, I have to just trust in the school system... and have faith that they will return him to me safe and sound.

Mom vs. Rice Krispie Treats

2010-08-29T22:56:00.010-04:00

I reminded myself today why I never make Rice Krispie Treats.

It actually requires two people... "but I'm a loner... a rebel." (name that movie) So I work alone. And to challenge myself even more, I thought it would be a smart idea to make 3 batches at once. (aka Suicide) Turns out, me making Rice Krispie Treats more accurately resembled a wrestling match... Tune in for the play-by-play!

Round 1
At first, it wasn't so bad. The melting of the butter and marshmallows was a piece of cake. And luckily the little man inside my head tucked a helpful little tid-bit way back in those imaginary file cabinets in my brain and highlighted the key word "RICE KRISPIE TREATS", so I was able to remember the importance of melting the marshmallows and butter a little longer then one would think.... so it's a nice drippy consistency. This proved to work well for the beginning mixing... but when you're dealing with 18 cups of rice krispies, it didn't seem to matter.

Rice Krispie Treats: 0
Mom: 1

Round 2:
This is where the extra set of hands would've helped... (one person to hold the bowl so that the other person can stir with both hands.) I may have single handedly held the bowl in a half-nelson under my arm, but it had a huge advantage with it's circular shape and slippery texture. The spoon was also winning over the crowd with it's slender physique and sticky uniform.

Rice Krispie Treats - 2
Mom- 1

Round 3:
The mess continued to spread across my kitchen counter and onto the floor. All I could hear was the "snap-crackle-pop" of my toddling son stepping on Krispies. It almost sounded like applause. I tipped the bowl upside down and proceeded to pile-drive it to it's demise, but the Krispies held firm inside the bowl and refused to come out! The bowl was too heavy to hold in one hand, so I ended up just grabbing handfuls of Krispies and plopping it haphazardly onto the pan. They clung to my fingers, despite my secret weapon, Pam cooking spray... and the Krispies had now secured a threatening lead.

Rice Krispie Treats - 4
Mom- 1

And somehow in all of this, I ended up getting a ring of marshmallow krispie around my arms, where I unfortunately have a descent amount of arm hair. This reminded of reason #7 why I will NEVER get a bikini wax.

Rice Krispie Treats - 5
Mom - 1

Round 4:
I was a fighter and managed, against all odds, to make a huge come-back. But not without casualties...by the time I was done, the kitchen was a disaster zone... I had dirtied bowls, pans and spoons so badly that they required some serious soaking before attempting to put in the dishwasher... I had worked up a sweat... and I came close to swearing 6 different times.

FINAL SCORE:
Rice Krispie Treats - 5
Mom - 5

In my opinion, there was no victory in this fight. I may have had 48 yummy treats to show for my efforts... but the battle crushed my spirit and depleted my energy. The chances that I will return and fight the Rice Krispie Beast are slim to none... I just don't have what it takes.

back to school = end of the world.

2010-08-23T16:55:00.006-04:00

At least that's the impression I got from the Target manager when I informed her that the Back To School Supplies were dangerously low. "We won't be getting another shipment in until... well, honestly, I don't think we'll ever get another shipment in." Really? So I guess no one in the entire west end will never need index cards or notebook paper ever again? Come on, lady.

I mean, seriously... this happens every year...and every year, I have to go to 5 different stores to get the basic, ordinary, run-of-the-mill supplies. Although they do have a plethora of markers and liquid glue, in case you want to stock up.

I really feel for those parents who wait until the last minute to do school shopping. I mean, I'm not ahead of the game by any means... but it's still 2 weeks until school starts! It reminds me when there's rumors of a snowstorm here... all of a sudden there's a shortage of milk, bread and water. I guess the term "back to school shopping" has that affect on people--HURRY HURRY... get as many crayons and glue sticks as you can! It's a back to school EMERGENCY!!!

Honestly, the whole "back to school" thing creates conflicting emotions.
Bad feeling #1 - It brings back painful memories and anxiety of starting another school year... and I feel sick about putting my kids through the same thing. (but deep down, I know it's good for 'em so I just paste a smile on my face, pat them on the back and send them off anyway!)
and Bad feeling # 2 - The mere thought of my kids being unprepared for school does invoke strong emotions. Sadly, I have even considered bribing (aka tackling) another mom for the last Kindergarten Rest Mat in the store.

Good feeling #1 - It's excuse to get more organized and start fresh.
Good feeling #2 - The boys are excited to see old friends/meet new ones...
Good feeling #3 - To continue down the road of learning and growing and developing... it's all very exciting too!

So here we go... the beginning - and the end- of life as we know it! HAPPY BACK TO SCHOOL!

I'm not sleeping... I'm just resting my eyes!

2010-08-22T09:33:00.007-04:00

Yesterday, I had to set up and help run a primary activity... and for those of you who know what that involves, know that it's exhausting! Especially when it's hot outside, and you're running all over place trying to stay ahead of all the kids. For your own sake, I'll spare you all the details... but bottom line is, it left me bedraggled.

Then while Brooks was sleeping, I started getting things ready for Sunday. By the time he woke up, I was a little weak in the knees with heavy eyes. And for those of us not lucky enough to have a nanny or full-time babysitter or teenage kids, I had to make due. So I shut the door to the playroom, dumped out a variety of toys, and laid down right next to my little toddler. By doing this, he actually thinks I'm playing with him... so sad, I know... but someday I'll make it up to him.

The only problem with laying on my side, is my arms start to get kinked and they fall asleep. So I rolled to my back. This was no good, because he immediately straddled my stomach and pounced. So I rolled to my stomach and laid my head in my arms. This was much better for a minute or two. But once again my arms started to fall asleep, but worse, Brooks realized that I was trying to fall asleep, so he grabbed the back of my hair to pull me out of my slumber.

So I just turned my face into the carpet. Surprisingly, Brooks went back to his playing, and I got up close and personal with my un-vacuumed carpet. FYI: there's no better motivator to improve your housekeeping then a few goldfish crumbs in your forehead. Then I tucked my arms up under my legs to keep off the draft, and secure them in place. I don't want to glorify this position too much because tucking yourself into bed is soooooooo much better. But drastic times call for drastic measures. After a few minutes of silence, Brooks was completely comfortable with my position...and he even started driving cars on my back... BONUS! I had to pinch myself to help me realize my good fortune. Closing my eyes and a back rub all at the same time... close to heaven in my opinion!

It's funny how the 9-years-younger-version-of-me would've thought this scenario to be absolutely insane. But now, it seemed perfectly logical for me to be laying face down on my playroom floor. Signs of the times, I guess... signs of the times!

I haven't done much today...

2010-08-20T15:53:00.002-04:00

I'm not sick... really. Just a little dizzy and achy. I'm afraid the worst might be yet to come. But in an effort to nip this in the bud, I decided that I would have to take it easy for today. This is what I did:

1) did 2 loads of laundry
2) cleaned the kitchen
3) went visiting teaching
4) I was already out, so I stopped by Walmart for a few school supplies
5) fixed lunch for 3 hungry boys
6) currently surfing the net for something easy to make for dinner
7) still need to gather "stuff" for the primary activity tomorrow
8) and to top things off, I'm considering taking the chillins to the pool for a night-time swim after dinner.

It's funny how my idea of "taking it easy" has changed since having kids. (sigh)

I think I had a heart attack!

2010-08-18T09:18:00.005-04:00

The other day, Mike and Josh went to the baseball field to practice. I was chatting on the phone. Brooks was down for his nap. Caleb was upstairs playing LEGOs. I glanced out the window and saw an empty COP CAR parked right outside my house. I found myself sneaking and peeking around trying to locate the cop, and my heart jumped when I saw him walking up my driveway. I immediately ended my phone call. It became very obvious that I've watched too many forensic/crime tv shows, when my first thought was to hide or run out the back door... but I did the opposite and opened the door before he even rang the doorbell.

Policeman: Ma'am... (why do they always have to call you Ma'am? it sounds so old)... Do you own a black cadillac?
Me: Yes, it's my husband's car.
Policeman: Do you know where your husband is?
Me: Do YOU know where my husband is?
Policeman: Well, we found his car...

(Tears were welling up at this point. I had seen this moment on TV... and always found myself wondering what I would do if that ever happened to me. Is that crazy? I always wondered if I would cry in front of a stranger, or scream like they do on the movies? So, when I could hear my voice shaking and the tears were on the verge, I knew at that second that I was definitely capable of making a scene.)

Policeman:... Apparently it's been abandoned over at T------ Little League for 2 weeks now.

(Okay, now I KNOW this was a misunderstanding, since I know for a fact that it has NOT been parked over there... because he comes home every night.)

Me: (regaining my composure) My husband and son go there to practice quite a bit for a couple hours... around this same time... and I'm guessing he parks in the same spot closest to the field. I'm sure that everything's fine because I just saw him an hour ago. So I'm sure that it only APPEARS to be abandoned.

Policeman: Well, maybe just tell him to park more randomly so it doesn't alarm the Little League staff.

After I drove over to the field to get visual confirmation of my husband and first-born child, I'm grateful for this experience for one very important reason... I finally have an actual confirmation that Mike and Josh spend WAAAAAYYYY too much time thinking/practicing/playing baseball!... I rest my case!

War Zone

2010-08-11T17:42:00.005-04:00

I'm not speaking metaphorically today. It was a literal WAR ZONE in my house today! I've got the nerf wounds to prove it! I mistakenly walked in the cross-fire of a nerf dart battle and was pelted at least 7 times.

Even little Brooks got in on it. Although he couldn't cock his own gun, he was a vital part since he was the Artillery Commander. All I heard was, "More ammo!" being yelled through the halls, followed by the pitter-patter of little bare feet as he scrambled to pick up all the darts and deliver them to his com rads.

But if it's not nerf guns and darts, it's Gi-Joe's and Army guys... and when I don't hear the whistling of darts, it's usually the crash of blocks and legos as miniature forts and hide-outs are destroyed in combat.

It's times like these that I'm reminded of a poem by Robert Louis Stevenson that I learned in 6th grade.

When I was sick and lay a-bed,
I hate two pillows at my head,
And all my toys beside me lay
To keep me happy all the day.

And sometimes for an hour or so
I watched my leaden soldiers go,
With different uniforms and drills,
Among the bed-clothes, through the hills.

And sometimes sent my ships in fleets
All up and down among the sheets;
Or brought my trees and houses out,
And planted cities all about.

I was the giant great and still
That sits upon the pillow-hill,
And sees before him, dale and plain,
The pleasant land of counterpane.

I never could relate to this poem before. But after 3 boys, I'm happy to report that this is my life... and where there are "war zones", there are three happy boys... and I love that... every second of it!

how can I blame him?

2010-08-09T14:13:00.003-04:00

This is Mike in Alaska befriending a dragon fly. The kids and him named him "Steve".

Yesterday I was making something that called for jalapenos. I've had a jar of them for a while and use them every now and then... now I'm wondering if jalapenos go bad... hmmmm. Anyway, I went through the fridge and they weren't there.

Rewind a few weeks. Mike was so sad and lonely while I was in Alaska (I tell myself this) and so anxious to have me come home from my month long stay, that he cleaned the whole house from top to bottom. This was including, but not limited to, cleaning out the fridge. This needed to be done. And it was so nice to come home to a sparkling clean fridge where everything was in it's place. There was not a single tupperware container with some questionable, unknown substance... no moldy broccoli (you know that stuff is deadly) ... and no soggy, liquified cucumbers!

But since I've been back, I've noticed a couple things that are missing... of course, the jalapenos... and also my seasoned rice vinegar. To a normal, every-day male, these items might appear to be useless. I'm sure he thought that I never used them. But these kinds of condiments are things that you don't really notice being there, but you miss them when they're gone.

So I'm torn... do I bring it up and tell him never to throw things out unless he gets permission and risk that he will never do such a, dare I say, romantic act of service again? Or, should I just accept that my jalapenos and rice vinegar were simply collateral damage in the operation of "Husband-pleases-wife", and bite the bullet and just buy another bottle of rice vinegar?

I think I'll hold my tongue.

nesting bug...

2010-08-07T14:41:00.003-04:00

This is NOT my way of announcing that I'm pregnant... in case anyone is wondering... HOWEVER, I think I've got a silly little "virus" that is often called "The Nesting Bug". Normally this "virus" is contracted during the last trimester of pregnancy in order for the mother to have the necessary energy to accomplish any and everything she desires before the baby arrives.

Although I'm not sure if it is scientifically proven, I have experienced it three previous times with the anticipation of each new baby. My most noteworthy feat was carrying a twin mattress and boxspring up a flight of stairs and put it together all on my own (8 months pregnant) before my husband got home.

This was NOT an easy task! I was off-balance and out of breath. By the end of it, I was covered in sweat with a sore back! But honestly, it was much easier then convincing a tired husband to catch my vision that it needed to be done RIGHT NOW!

So, for the past couple weeks, I've been evaluating the efficiency of my home and changing things that aren't running smoothly and decorating/organizing the things that need sprucing up. I'm doing all this, not because I'm expecting a new arrival... just because I'm determined to make things nice and cozy for my "rooster" and ever-growing "chicks"!

WARNING: The-Nesting-Bug-Virus is highly contagious and could be contracted the following ways: catching sight of well-organized pantry, flipping through an issue of Real Simple, reading the scripture about "a house of order, a house of God", experiencing the after-math of a recent camping trip, vacation, dinner party OR reading this blog post.

TREATMENT OPTIONS: a good, old-fashioned SPRING CLEANING SPREE! Symptoms will subside when everything in your house has a "home".

teleporting...

2010-07-29T11:05:00.004-04:00

Teleporting... that's the new term that we (my family) came up with to describe Brooks' uncanny ability to escape from supervision.

I seriously think my family thought I was crazy when I would tell them that how frequently I can lose sight of my 3rd-born. "You're just too busy with the other two", they would say. Or, "You're getting more relaxed in your old age."

But on Day 1 of being in Alaska, he mastered opening the front door and using his little "cat feet" ventured out of sight in a matter of seconds. The only difference was I had several eye-witnesses. I finally felt vindication!

The thing that is so deceiving about him is that he doesn't run at lightning speed knocking and stomping over everything in his path to get away. That would be too obvious. He takes tiny baby steps, that actually make him appear to not be moving at all. He does this until you tire of watching him, and look away in search of something a little faster paced. It's at that moment that the baby steps actually thrust him into hyper-drive and in less than a nano-second he is able to disappear from view and teleport himself into a completely different location.

Thankfully, none of his teleportations ever resulted in injuries or kidnappings. But it's enough to put everyone in the family into panic mode desperately trying to locate my tiny toddler on a large farm.

no food in the house...

2010-07-28T11:20:00.005-04:00

Since I've been back from Alaska (10 days), I've only been to the grocery store once. I didn't go overboard and buy everything in the store (like I normally do) because I had all 3 boys with me, and I didn't want to hear any whining that day. Let me explain. I normally buy 2 of most things to stock up the food storage, and to keep from having to go to the store every day. But this last time, I had a menu and a list... and I only bought what was on the list (probably a first for me).

Well yesterday we ran out of milk, and the fridge wasn't stocked with "ready to go" food and snacks. You would've thought that the world was coming to an end! "We have no food!", my husband and sons proclaimed!

Apparently in THIS household: NO MILK = NO FOOD!

So today we went to the grocery store and bought two of everything.

I'm back...

2010-07-22T23:17:00.004-04:00

I've been home from my month long trip to Alaska for 5 days now, and I'm still adjusting to the time change... 4 hour difference. I don't feel tired until at least 2 am... and I need at least 8 hours of sleep before I even consider crawling out of my nest... so, you do the math! And the kids have been going to bed around 8:30-9am.... and they still sleep in til 10 or 11am. It's crazy!

Along with my jet-lag, I've also been a little cranky. I guess after a month of hardly seeing my children (because they were so busy playing with the cousins), this three vs. one ratio is a bit overwhelming... I miss having my sisters and mom around for constant companionship... and please don't remind me that it's 100 degrees outside!

But I need to get back to real life again... and so there will be more posts to come soon....

**** NOTEWORTHY NEWS: I unpacked my suitcases on day 2 of being home.
**** CONFESSION: the empty suitcases are still haphazardly stacked next to my bed.
**** JUSTIFICATION: The attic temperature is currently 3,000 degrees and I just can't get myself to go up there!

Flashback...

2010-05-28T16:43:00.006-04:00

I was reading a friend's blog today and was reminded of an experience that happened to me when I was in high school.

One day on the way to seminary, the car was quiet as me and my dad made the 10-minute commute to the church building. (seminary is a morning scripture study class for high-schoolers) I thought we were both noticing the silence, but at 6:05 am, I was not alert enough to be a social butterfly. I had other things on my mind... cramps.
***
Dad was the first to break the silence by asking the following question, "So, how long are your periods?" I thought this was completely out of character for him to be asking about my menstrual cycle, especially since he always turned the channel whenever a tampon commercial came on tv. But maybe he was trying to reach out and connect... however odd it was. So after a few seconds of internal arguing, I allowed myself to utter the words, "About 4-5 days."

"Oh no," he said, "I meant your class periods."

I wanted to slap myself! Of course that made more sense... he's a SCHOOL TEACHER! So asking me about my class periods was the logical explanation for his question. But in my defense... when you're on your period, that is often the ONLY thing on your brain!

I was, however, grateful that it was pitch-dark outside, so he wouldn't be able to see the shades of red I was turning. I tried to keep my voice steady as I appeased him with a play-by-play of each class. I think we were both very desperate to keep talking to avoid any more gaps in the conversation that would surely lead to disaster!

Sadly, this was NOT the last time I have embarrassed myself by saying something stupid.

Speaking of periods, this is BY FAR the BEST commercial I have ever seen!!! Enjoy!

***The picture of the confused little boy, is NOT one of my children... in case any of you were wondering.

seems harmless, doesn't he? ... don't be deceived.

2010-05-27T13:14:00.004-04:00

I know what you're thinking... how could a mother have anything negative to say about this lil' guy?

And in all honesty, there are a lot of REALLY GREAT things about our little Brooks. He is happy most of the time... he has mastered "independent play"... he is a great eater... he makes people laugh... he is entertained by the slightest thing... he goes to bed so easily and sleeps all night... he has the best laugh... he only poops once a day... he's not a mama's boy, so I can leave him with sitters... he loves his big brothers...and the list goes on.

But my "little friend", as I endearingly refer to him, has a side of him that can be pure evil! He throws the worst temper tantrums of all my kids and it is getting exhausting. In his defense, the temper tantrums are becoming fewer and farther between... but they have NOT lessened in intensity.

His latest tactic is to take it out on me physically by pinching, scratching, hitting and pulling out my earrings. He has learned that doing this pushes my buttons and causes my innards to literally quake! In fact, fastening Brooks into a car seat requires more patience and strength then I am often capable of... To give you a visual, he more accurately resembles a CAT being strapped into a car seat, then a baby. Changing a diaper is a similar scene... only he inherits OCTOPUS qualities and manages to wrap his legs around my arms, arches his back and twists his body so it's close to impossible to get a diaper on or off. And holding him up to the sink to wash his hands and face turns into a wrestling match with a 30 lb KING SALMON!

The only positive thing about these tantrums is it enables me to get a work out by simply doing every day tasks. After all, I'm a "glass is half-full" sort of girl. (wink)

2010-05-26T22:45:00.003-04:00

#1 Reason I'm feeling cranky....

At Josh's last baseball game, a little girl (about 6 years old) approached me wondering if I was the mother of a certain toddler who was carrying a "dangerous" stick that was a whopping 5 inches long, and 1/4 inch thick. I informed her that I was. She cocked her head to the side, as if she was sizing me up wondering if I was fit to be a mother, and she politely asked how old I was.

I managed an awkward smile, and replied, "Mommies don't like to tell how old they are."

"If you don't tell me, then you would be lying." she said.

"I'm not lying... I just don't want to talk about it." I shot back.

She the proceeded to point out all the wrinkles on my face and neck that she could find. I argued that what she called "wrinkles" were simply, or more appropriately called "laugh lines" and "neck bending lines". She wasn't convinced.

I then proceeded to ask her how old her mom was. She confidently professed that her mother was 40.

"Guess what? Your mom is older then me!"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
#2 Reason I'm feeling cranky...

During that same game, another little girl was admiring the same toddler who was now sporting a dirt-covered bottom and a dirt ring around his mouth. She asked me how much he weighed. Then 1/2 second later, before I could answer, she asked how much I weighed.

Already feeling defensive from my last encounter, I replied, "Mommies don't like to tell how much they weigh."

"My mom will tell me how much she weighs."

"Really? Why don't you go ask her."

It's times like this that I'm glad I'm a mother of BOYS!

I started today off with a bang!

2010-05-19T14:51:00.003-04:00

After being up late last night, I pushed the snooze a couple times, but was eventually woken up by Josh (my 2nd grader) saying it was time for school. I sat up to start the morning routine....

The next thing I know, it's black, and I'm on the floor... and my head is pounding!

Are you confused? Join the club.

I start thinking back on what I can remember... and I realize that all I remember is watching Josh walk out of the room.

I immediately start wimpering to my husband for help. I attempted to cry, because it seemed logical that's what one would do if they just passed out, banged their face on the night stand and then fell to the floor, but no tears came. Just a throbbing. I stood up, a little more carefully this time, and metaphorically handed Mike my "Get-back-in-bed-and-go-to-sleep-card". Mike took Josh to school, and thankfully I've managed to stay conscious all day.

My knight in shining armor...

2010-05-11T14:25:00.007-04:00

Oh you... with your shiny, off-white complexion... and your bright yellow "Energy Guide" sticker plastered on your side. Oh you, with your WARNING label, which so eloquently states the risk of fire and explosion that could often result in serious injury and death... and don't get me started on your exposed water pipes and hoses!

I must confess... after 24 days without hot water, in a matter of hours, I have been smitten by this stalwart appliance which stands silent and isolated in my garage. It has enticed me with the hot water flowing from the kitchen faucet... even Brooks was tantalized by the steam as it rose to the ceiling... and I find myself craving the warm embrace of HOT WATER!!! Seriously, I can't help myself!

But how can you blame me? After countless cold showers, I have forgotten what it feels like to soak in a hot tub. Although I am thankful to our previous water heater for it's brutal incentive to make me start working out again, (fyi: it's much easier to take a cold shower when you're hot and sweaty) I'm in desperate need of hot water to soothe my aching body, as it appears that all the cold showers have not only given me a temporary case of "clenched jaw", but I'm currently fighting a cold.

So, welcome to the family, dearest hot-water-heater... we welcome you with open arms!

SIDEBAR: Is it possible that the plumber who was obviously smoking in my garage, managed to get smoke in the pipes, and now I smell smoke when I turn on the water? ... whatever, a small price to pay in my opinion!

in case you were wondering...

2010-05-05T13:48:00.002-04:00

19 days without hot water... I don't even remember what a hot shower feels like.

T-Minus....

2010-05-04T15:08:00.003-04:00

Today my mind is overflowing with deadlines... some of them are good... some are not so good. I have a lot of little things hanging over my head, and I just want to get them done!
Here's my list:

-3 days to get ready for the Father/Son Campout
-30 days to complete driving school
-8 days to think about my new hair style
-5 days to prepare a sharing time lesson
-45 days to pack and prepare for our Alaska trip
-13 days to prepare Caleb for his Kindergarten Assessment
-2 days to get my dining room table cleared off
-5 hours until LOST comes on (I don't know that really even like it that much... but I've invested 6 years of my life in this show... I want to see how it ends!)
-1 hour until Brooks wakes up
-2 hours to figure out what's for dinner
-number of days to go without hot water?... unknown.
-2 more days until Field Day
-14 more days until Concession Duty at the baseball field
-39 more days til I turn "one year older and wiser too"
-5 more days til Mother's Day, aka the most non-relaxing day of the year! (seriously, why does it have to be on Sunday?)
-20 minutes until the clothes in the dryer are dry

and last, but not least...

-5 MORE HOURS UNTIL THE KIDS GO TO BED!!!

the high chair is the bane of my existence!

2010-04-30T18:42:00.002-04:00

I love my little guy for his independence and his strong desire to feed himself. It has saved me soooo much time on those rushed mornings where every second counts. He is even capable of eating a bowl of oatmeal unassisted.

But I HATE it how those grubby little patties completely destroy the high chair requiring nothing less of a good power wash afterwards!

Enough said.

at least now I'm working out!

2010-04-29T13:26:00.003-04:00

Broken hot water heater... Day 12.

While we're waiting for the home warranty company to make up their mind about what they will/will not pay for, (crossing our fingers for a new water heater due to a non-existent part for this old (1991) thing...) the plumber said that we could light it up as needed. So one hour prior to starting the dishwasher or taking showers, I light the pilot light and pray that it stays on long enough to heat up the tank. It seems that the period of time that it stays on is shorter and shorter, so we're conserving hot water whenever we can.

Today I discovered a better way to take a cold shower.

After a good and sweaty workout (the only thing good about no hot water is it's forced me to start working out again in order to warm up) ... I immediately hit the shower. To ease some of the pain from the frigid water, I proceeded to do a near back bend to keep the water from touching anything other then my head. This worked quite well. The cold water on my head, did take my breath away a few times, but it was manageable. After the shampoo was rinsed out, I immersed my whole body in the shower stream and did a quick spin. While I was soaping up and putting conditioner, however, I was blessed with a bit of luke warm water that finally made it's way clear across the house and upstairs.

Normally, even a luke warm shower is just as cold... but when you start out with frigid cold, and work your way toward luke warm, it's actually quite pleasant! I just might try it again tomorrow!

no wonder he keeps waking up!

2010-04-27T15:11:00.002-04:00

The past couple days Brooks has woken up early from his naps, and he's even woke up a couple times during the early evening. So far, I've chalked it up towards his latest illness, which we have self-diagnosed as Primary Herpes... but for my sake, let's just refer to it as "allergies". I took a picture of him... not for scrapbooking purposes, since I'd much rather forget this... but for pure documentation reasons. Fortunately for all of you, I don't have the courage to post it. But rest assured, it's not a pretty sight. But because all the sores that cover his nose, upper lip and mouth, I thought that he just kept waking up from the pain.

But this afternoon (luckily before his nap), I found the phone nestled in a blanket on the guest bed... in his room. I tend to walk around the house while I'm on the phone... sometimes doing random chores while I chat... but quite often just pacing. (Yes, I admit... I'm a pacer... they say it helps your brain flow, and someone even said it counted as your daily exercise... I doubt that.)

Sorry, I digress. But now, every time the phone rings, I feel a twinge in my stomach. Nap time and bed time is very important to me, and I hate to be disturbed! Panic stricken, I do a head count of all the phones in the house, hoping and PRAYING that I didn't leave the phone in there again! So far, so good.

man enough?

2010-04-24T14:33:00.007-04:00

Despite the fact that there are 4 boys in my family, apparently I'm the only "man" in this house... or rather, I'm the only one with enough (you know what) to take a cold shower! Last night I boiled 3 pots of water for Josh and Caleb because they weren't man enough. And this morning, Mike could only wash his hair.

Now, taking a cold shower isn't exactly something I would volunteer to do just for the heck of it... but a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do, right?

Here's a quick play-by-play:

Once the water touches your scalp, you experience a literal brain freeze that only intensifies as the water creeps into your ear. Half way into the shampooing process your head thankfully begins to numb, but the ice water that trickles into the ear canal continues to provide unexpected chills throughout the remainder of the shower. The frigid water that flows down your body is obviously more shocking in certain areas then others... I'll spare you the details on the "certain areas". But the initial shock of it is enough to invoke a variety of shrieks and squeals that even I didn't know I was capable of. Now comes the tricky part... First if all, rinsing the shampoo out seems to take forever, and I violently squeegee the foam off as fast as I can... but it just keeps coming. Even though I'm not quite sure if I got all the soap out, I can't bare any more so I turn off the water to condition and lather up with body wash. Thankfully, I feel warmer... either because the 72 degree air is warmer then the 50 degree water... or possibly because of the vicious scrubbing and friction of the loofa. Now, I'm literally covered in bubbles, and I'm wondering what I have gotten myself into. There's no way out! I must turn the cold water back on and submit myself to the torture once again.

Sidebar: Do you remember that feeling when you get out of a pool for a few minutes? And do you remember that upon getting back in, the water is significantly warmer... or at least it feels warmer?

Well, this is NOT the case with cold showers. Once I turned off the water, my body did indeed get warmer... but the water definitely did NOT! So, for the first 20 seconds of the rinsing-off-process, my mind flashed back in time to Girls Camp where we bathed in a pool that was fed by the run-off from a nearby glacier. It felt very similar. But finally, when the last bits of conditioner were dissolving from my hair, I am surprised by the feeling of calmness. The body convulsions have ceased, and the feeling of endurance is replaced by, dare I say, refreshment!!! Ha-haaaa... I had conquered the cold shower after all!

But man, do those dry, warm towels feet nice. I bundle up my hair in a towel as my scalp starts to thaw...

It's times like this that once again I am proud to be an Alaskan!!!

hot water... who needs it anyway?

2010-04-24T11:35:00.002-04:00

Josh, Brooks and myself are the only ones in our family who suffer from allergies. So after playing outside in the pollenated night air for hours... we could literally feel the pollen coating our skin and hair, feel the tightness in our lungs, and the itchiness in our eyes, we desperately longed for a shower!

This was the first time we noticed that there was no hot water. It was late, and the kids were tired. So it went against everything that I knew to be right to put them into their beds covered from head to toe in pollen... I was hoping and praying that this would not lead to a night of torture for them... and me! Josh slept with a cold wet rag over his face, and I managed to keep Brooks from rubbing his eyes by putting multiple binkies in each hand.

Then I scoured the internet for a do-it-yourself guide to lighting a pilot light. Mike was hesitant to light it, even though he had seen numerous home inspectors do it. He relied on the excuse that he was the provider for our family and couldn't risk losing a limb, his hair, or his life from an exploding gas water heater. But I was not in the mood for a cold shower in the morning, and boiling water was for the pioneers... and was willing to risk it all!

So, we went out to the garage together... I was determined to restore hot water to our family... Mike was saying his last goodbyes.

*POOF* ... pilot light ignited. All was well... or so I thought.

Now a week later, I've re-lit the pilot light 3 times, called our home warranty company, boiled water for baths, washed my hair in cold water, waited for 3 hours for the technician to come, repaired of a temperature coupler (in my mind, this didn't seem to remedy the pilot light issue... but they're the experts, right?), and a $60 co-pay later....

And surprise, surprise... we have no hot water again!
I'm speechless.

lazy vs. bad hair?... I think it's a toss up.

2010-04-22T09:36:00.003-04:00

I literally had to force myself out of bed this morning. My eyes were burning (thanks to allergies and lack of sleep), my head was pounding, my legs felt like jello as I came down the stairs.... you get the idea. In an effort to easy myself out of this deathly state, I curled up on the couch while Josh ate breakfast. I guarantee that I would still be in bed right now if I didn't feel the "motherly instinct" to oversee Josh getting ready for school. He was going on a field trip for the day, so I needed visual confirmation that he was prepared with his snack, lunch, water bottle, jacket, etc.

I heard Mike and Josh exit the house, while I remained in my semi-comatose state. I was only half aware that Mike came back inside to announce that a friend from church was here. It wasn't until after I bolted up and nearly gave myself a brain aneurysm did he mention that he had told her I was still asleep and would relay a message to me. "But I wasn't asleep." I contested. Mike said, "Well, by the looks of your hair, you might as well have been asleep!"

This friend is known for her early rising, and un-human-like knack for accomplishing everything under the sun... so the fact that she thinks I'm still deep in slumber at 7:40am makes me cringe. But, having my husband be embarrassed enough by my "morning hair" to deceive a morning visitor is equally mortifying.

How does one recover from this?

half clean or half dirty??

2010-04-17T14:23:00.002-04:00

I consider myself to be an optimist... right now I'm trying to look past the dishful of dirty dishes, an oatmeal coated high chair, and a sticky stove top... and instead, think of all the things I've accomplished/endured over the past 24 hours.

-waking up at 5am to make rolls for a missionary luncheon
-packed a diaper bag (this is surprisingly time-consuming)
-preschool field trip
-play date with child #2
-6-7 phone calls
-primary presidency meeting
-an unplanned play date for child #1
-over a dozen emails
-7 temper tantrums
-3 arguments
-another diaper bag packed
-baseball uniform gathered
-water bottles located
-cameras charged
-baseball game
-1 more temper tantrum
-unload the car
-side dish for a family BBQ prepared
-lunch and snacks for 3 hungry boys
-1 bathroom cleaned
-a sticky toddler bathed
-a clean toddler down for a nap

I put my hands on my hips... and look around the kitchen trying to decide where to start. Josh enters the messy kitchen and says, "Wow, this kitchen is a mess!" I immediately feel defeated. How can I feel good about everything else I accomplished with the center of our home was neglected. And if it's messy enough for an 8 year-old BOY to notice, it must be pretty bad! So, what do I do?

Pick myself up by my bra straps... and do the most sensible thing I can think of...
Ignore it all and go climb in my un-made bed and take a nap. Goodnight dirty kitchen... I'll see you when I wake up!

Mumblings of two bickering boys…

2010-03-28T15:25:00.000-04:00

As soon as Josh got home from school the other day, him and Caleb started bantering back and forth. It was getting on my nerves, but after about 5 minutes of it… I opted to not say anything and just record what they said. I had little to no contributions to the conversation, but they just kept going… it was actually more fun to be an observer then a contributer and now when I go back and read it, it actually was quite funny! Maybe you'll get a kick out of it too.

C- There is lava under the ground.
J- Not everywhere.
C- Mom, is there lava under the roads? … pause.... if there wasn’t lava under the roads, then what IS under the roads?
J- gravel.
C- Mom, what’s gravel?

C- Brooks can talk
J – no he can’t…
C- yes he can, he can say grandpa.
J- nooooo, he says Dad. He doesn’t say Grandpa.
C-Mom, can Brooks say grandpa?
...pause...
J- She's not getting in the middle of this.

J – I remember when you weren’t even alive yet.
C- No you don’t.
J- yes I do.
C – Was Mom alive yet? Or was she already dead?
J- YEEEEES she was alive (laughing).

J- Can I have soda? ….. please?.... pause.... Caleb already did… I can tell by the look on his face! (Caleb turned around guiltily to reveal his red mustache. Josh was right right. Caleb had some for lunch. Josh proceeds to pour himself some pop.)

J- you are a baby… because you don’t want to watch "Monster House".
C- Mom, Josh keeps saying I’m a baby.
J- Maybe because you are one.
C- I don’t like you… and YOU’RE the baby!
J- Mom, Caleb said I was a baby.

J- Caleb, if I weren’t born yet, what would you be doing?
C- I would play Wii.
J- If I wasn’t born, you wouldn’t have that Wii because I got it for MY birthday.
C- Play legos?
J-No, you wouldn’t have that either
C- I would play xbox? ....pause... Would I have clothes?
J- You would not have any of that stuff, because pretty much everything in this house used to be mine.

C- under his breath to himself… We wouldn’t have these strawberries? (if Josh wasn’t born yet)
J-Caleb, you’re putting your dirty hands all over the strawberries!
C- I cleaned my hands.
J- they don’t LOOK clean!... let me smell them. (hmmm, where has he heard THAT before?)

C- Brooks can have peanut butter/jelly now. He’s old enough.

C – Would we have this water? (if Josh waan’t born yet?)

J- (muttering to himself while doing his homework) Man, I can’t do anything today, all because of me! Now I have to go to bed early because I talked back… a half an hour is a long time!

J-Can we have a friend over to play?
Mom- I don’t know… you guys have been fighting with each other since you got home.
J- I know, it was kind of fun. We haven’t done that in awhile.

Going back to the conversation about what Caleb would do if Josh wasn’t born yet…
C – would we have this cup?
J- If I wasn’t born yet, you would just sit there and drool…
C- (speechless)

Then they just disappeared into the playroom, and I haven’t heard a peep out of them!

toilet... shmoilet

2010-03-27T12:07:00.003-04:00

A couple weeks ago, Brooks threw the TV remote to our bedroom TV into the toilet. It no longer works. The cable remote does change the channels, so if we choose to lay in bed and "surf" we can still do so... however, volume control and turning the TV off is now impossible unless you get out of bed.

(This is the part where I divulge how lazy we really are!)
When you're tired and on the verge of drifting off to sleep, the last thing you want to do is get out of that nice, warm bed, just to turn off the TV. So, the result is, we don't watch TV in bed anymore. It's just not worth it.

(This is the part where I redeem myself!)
Now, 2 weeks later, I'm proud to say we are making better use of our night-time hours. I am reading more and Mike is rediscovering an old hobby. It's great... I feel so much more productive and so much more empowered because I'm not allowing my "brain to go to mush", which is what I always tell the kids.

Who knows?... maybe I'll just put the other TV remote in "the toilet" as well. My next post might be about how me and Mike are having conversations longer then the average commercial break.

Brooks Bond... 007

2010-03-22T12:03:00.008-04:00

Brooks, my 18 month old, has a knack for slipping, unnoticed, into rooms and shutting the door behind him. This immediately gets him off my radar, because when I see a closed door, I assume that it kept him out. It's only after I've looked in every other opened-door-room that it finally dawns on me that he's managed to disarm the door and slip in undetected. The end result can often be catastrophic! You might wonder how I can be fooled so easily... trust me, I wonder the same thing... especially when it happens daily.

Here's how I think he does it. He quietly awaits. He is constantly plotting, and uses his seemingly innocent "playing" as a decoy. He has learned my pattern of behavior and can calculate the exact time it takes me to rotate a batch of laundry, or unload a dishwasher. He has an acute sense of timing, despite his inability to tell time. But most importantly, his ability to sense my moment of weakness, (along with his highly sensitive cloaking device) and sneak beyond enemy lines, which leads me to believe that he truly is a mastermind!

Here are a few of his recent victories...

--toilet paper roll emptied onto bathroom floor
--toothpaste mountain on the bathroom counter
--clothes from his drawers strewn all over the room and mixed in with dirty clothes pile... what's clean? what's dirty?
--permanent marker on the couch, wall and window

and my personal favorite...

--remote control in the toilet

Bravo Brooks... I've been foiled again!
Here's the little bugger dancing because he got hold of the xbox remote!

"Don't tell Mom!"

2010-03-22T10:54:00.007-04:00

People can't keep a secret. I myself have been guilty of passing along a scandalous tid-bit (of my own, or someone else's), but deep down I'm leery of the consequences of the divulgence. Basically, I know that if I let something slip, it's bound to hit the fan and become public knowledge. So, to prevent it from happening, I either, 1) keep the truly juicy stuff to myself... or 2) do not utter the words, "How did anyone know?"

But I'm amazed how a vast majority of the population, including my children, have yet to figure out this seemingly simple "cause-and-effect" rule of the universe. Because time after time I have witnessed countless people make a mistake or do something stupid and then deliberately tell someone all about it. And then days, weeks or even months later they are utterly astonished how anyone could have found out!

So, I have three examples to help illustrate my point...

1) I came downstairs one morning to find a heap of colorful tin wrappers scattered all over the counter. I did a quick scan at the faces of my two young sons and after a quiet deliberation in my head, came to the conclusion that the chocolate-face-Caleb was the culprit. His obvious failure to conceal the evidence was his own demise, however, he repeatedly blamed his elder brother, Josh for telling on him.

2) I recently read a post on facebook where the person divulged, "totally disappointed in my very best friend". Do they really think that so-and-so is going to ask another so-and-so if they saw so-and-so's message on facebook... and that maybe this will continue round and round until the best friend actually finds out that they are a total disappointment? Maybe this is just the poster's passive-aggressive attempt at getting even... but is it possible that people are really clueless enough to think that if they make a general statement that people can't connect the dots and figure out who they are talking about? Do people really believe that they can spout off whatever comes to mind, and that there will be no consequences for their actions?

3) I overheard a conversation last night between sons #1 and #2. I was doing the night-time-quick-pick-up, and Josh and Caleb were in their rooms getting jammies on. I wasn't sure... but I assumed that their conversation had something to do with a large collection of socks under the bed. There was some more whispering, and then I heard the words, "Don't tell Mom!" So far, no one has come forward or tattled about the contraband under the bed. And under more serious circumstances, those words "don't tell mom" might cause me to cringe and worry into the night, and construct a plan to nudge the guilty one to come forward. But since their crime was just a pile of dirty socks, I think I'll overlook it... at least until laundry day!

Walmart is also offering parenting classes...

2010-02-23T12:38:00.004-05:00

I spent an hour at Walmart this morning... doing a little grocery shopping... but mainly finding supplies to decorate a Boy Scout 100 year Anniversary Cake for the Blue and Gold Banquet tomorrow night.

Brooks, my almost 17 month-old, is a very happy little guy, and usually enjoys being my little shopping side-kick. But he also has a mind of his own and is often compelled to spontaneously act out violently by arching his back, kicking, throwing things, and hitting me. It's been especially bad the past 2 days, and I have come to the conclusion that he must be suffering from MBS... "Mad Baby Syndrome". The only remedy to MBS is snacks, bottles (yes, we're both still addicted to the bottle in spite of recommendations from the pediatrician), lots of cuddle time, the freedom to walk around where one chooses, and to NOT be buckled in a car seat! Unfortunately, after only 45 minutes, he consumed all the snacks and juice in my loaded diaper bag, and managed to throw every single book/toy across every single isle in the store. So I zipped up my bag, hurried to find fondant and chocolate covered raisins all while trying to ignore the wimpering/crying/yelling baby in the basket.

By the time we got to the check-out stand, the MBS had completely taken over and he was not fit to be reasoned with. He continued to wail and cry... and threw his binky over the candy display and into the next check out line. Thank goodness no one was injured.

The cashier was very nice at first and tried to talk to him... he was silenced for a minute to take notice of her bleach-blonde mohawk, before the crying continued.

To be perfectly honest, I wasn't bothered one bit. I knew he just wanted to go home and play, so the mutual agony would inevitably be over soon. I was just doing my best to load my cart and get out of there as soon as possible.

It became very obvious, however, that the cashier had lost her patience when a river of advice came gushing out her as if a dam had broken.

Here are my favorite parts...

Cashier: "I see that your mommy didn't buy you any goldfish!"

I tried to explain that we had a 3-month supply of goldfish at home. Apparently that wasn't her purpose in saying that, because she continued....

Cashier: "Well, I like to put different snacks and stuff in those handy little zip-lock baggy things. And sometimes I carry a bag that has little toys, or books or something so they don't get bored and cry while I'm running errands."

I'm actually speechless at this point. My diaper bag is green... and if you squint it might give the illusion of camoflauge. But we're hardly in the middle of the forest, so it's a stretch that she doesn't see it heaping out of the cart next to Brooks. But regardless, does she really think that the reason for Brooks' MBS behavior is because I was unprepared? The thought of that makes my stomach churn... and I choose to force a slight smile instead of uttering the insensitive, rude remark that is running through my head.

Cashier: "Maybe he just wants a pacifier or something."

She obviously missed the UFO that landed in Check Out Line #7.

She continued to spout out suggestions with a smart-alick sort of tone... but I tried to just block it out. She was now scanning my bananas, bread and eggs, so I much preferred to swipe my card and just get out of there, because lucky for her, I didn't have PMS today!

1 diaper left...

2010-02-19T09:15:00.004-05:00

I HATE going to the grocery store. Every time I go, I swear it will be my last... but 2 weeks later, it's time again to make another run.

I've needed to go now for about 3-4 days, but keep putting it off... I much preferred rummaging through my "food storage" to see what I could "come up with" before spending 1 1/2 hours shopping, loading up the car, unloading the car and putting it all away. And after 10+ years, I don't think I'm overstating it... grocery shopping is really the bane of my existence!

But I've searched the entire house, and I only have 1 diaper left. How did I let my supply get so low? I thought I knew better. But now I have to get dressed and comb my hair on a Friday when I did not have another reason in the world to leave the house today. My plan to hunker down, play with the kids, and maybe do a few batches of laundry?... foiled again! Maybe it's time to break into that package of emergency cloth diapers just to save my soul... (scratch my head as I consider the consequences of using a cloth diaper)... Time to put on a bra and head out for the day.

I should've slept in today.

2010-02-10T07:51:00.003-05:00

I think I know "the schools" better then they know themselves.

We woke up this morning to 2 inches of fresh snow, and it was still snowing. I checked the messages, and the news, and they hadn't cancelled school yet. I kept dragging my feet on getting ready, because I knew that this "storm" was worthy of canceling school.

I do need to clarify something -- I'm an Alaskan -- I personally do not believe in canceling school, or ANYTHING for that matter, just because of a little snow, or even a lot of snow for that matter! In fact, I only remember one time where school was canceled in Alaska, and it wasn't because of snow... it was because of severe cold (-40 or colder). But after ten years of living here in Richmond, I've learned to predict when school will be canceled. And after much reluctance, I realize that not everyone is used to driving in snow, and that Virginia does not have the resources to adequately clear snow. Therefore, I understand the need to cancel school, work and church... even though I think it's completely ridiculous, and I often feel like the laughing stock of my fellow Alaskans.

So the reason for my frustration this morning, is not because they canceled school.... it's because they canceled school at 7:33 a.m.!

I can read minds... and I know what the school county officials were thinking.... "We've already cancelled school for 4 days, and delayed it 2 hours one day... we really don't want to cancel it again. Maybe if we wait a little longer, it will all just disappear! We can't make decisions. We don't know what to do! Oh wait, I know! Let's wait until 17 minutes before school starts... when people have already shoveled their driveways and brushed off their cars, when buses are already picking up kids, when kids are already arriving at school, and when parents have already left for work! Yes, that's a great idea!... Make the calls!"

So now, after an emergency canceling of schools due to inclement weather the snow stops falling 48 minutes later. It's almost embarrassing that after just 2 inches of snow, once again, everything is shut down.

Now, my eyes are burning and I'm very tired... and I wish that I was still in bed, oblivious to all this snow drama.

music in the playroom is like magic!

2010-01-22T09:28:00.002-05:00

As you know, I've been rearranging, revamping, reorganizing, redoing, reframing, basically all things "re---". So I had a little cd player that needed a home, so up to the playroom it went. I turned it on just for kicks, and it was almost hypnotizing to my 4 year-old and 1 year-old.

There was a little dancing, but there was a lot of "organized play". They just went about their business and played so great independently and together. WHY DID I NOT THINK OF THIS BEFORE??

The Domino Effect...

2010-01-19T14:42:00.004-05:00

... the consequence of one event setting off a chain of similar events...

This has been happening at my house lately.

It all began when I decided to move an armoir upstairs into the playroom to hold the Wii, DVD player and computer. My husband and a friend tackled the treacherous and death-defying stunt of carrying the armoir up the stairs in our 2-story foyer... They wrenched their backs with every step, and I swooned in fear at every pivot. According to my calculations and knowledge of angles and physics, I was certain, on 6 separate occasions, that it would topple over the railing and crash to it's demise. After what seemed like forever, and nothing short of miracle, the armoir found a cozy little corner of the playroom for its home, hopefully for a long time, since I know Mike will never want to move it again!

In the meantime, we inherited a free red couch from a friend. After much debate, we decided to put the couch in the playroom for comfy seating. But after unhinging the door and entertaining the thought of cutting off the legs, the couch would not fit through the door. So back down it went. Shoved into a corner, it sat there unbalanced in the room. At first, it seemed like there was no way to make 2 semi-large couches fit into this small room. But, I made a 911-call to another friend to help remedy the "dilemma of 2 couches" in the living room. We brainstormed... we shifted and moved... we imagined and visualized for almost 2 hours. This is testimony that ANYTHING is possible when 2 moms put their heads together to rearrange a room. It may be breaking a few rules, and it's far from perfect... but it will get me by for now.

All of this triggered a series of unavoidable events... "bring the desk upstairs downstairs and put it behind the couch, take apart that playhouse and move it outside, move the bookcase in the hallway into the playroom, move these pictures there, and put those pictures over there, bring that table out of the garage and put it up there, move that end table over here, move the piano over there"... and all of this moving around calls for "uh-oh, vacuum over there... sweep up over here..." It also invoked some serious motivation to "frame this picture and put it there... and hang up that mirror there... and scour the attic for something to fill up that wall there... and spend all afternoon painting some artwork for that room". Then there's the endless task of "clean out that basket so I can put it here... and dump out that one because I think it will look cuter over there... and now what do I do with all these piles HERE?"

It's an endless process, and I'm not even close to being done. But it's been an adventure and it keeps me busy, my husband guessing and the kids tripping over everything in sight! Despite how it sounds, this has not been a series of unfortunate events... but rather a chain-reaction of little jobs that will hopefully help things to run smoother around here. And in the end, maybe I'll be able to enjoy it before the cycle starts all over again!

what's the big deal about a dropping ball?

2010-01-06T16:50:00.003-05:00

Here is a summary of a phone conversation, or rather, a series of random thoughts, I had with my sister, ShaLene, on New Year's Eve...

"New Year's Eve is so overrated... especially when you have kids, you don't drink, and you'd prefer not to stay up past midnight. So, why people flock to New York City to watch a giant ball of lights fall slowly down a pole has always been a mystery to me!... it actually seems a bit backwards...a ball dropping? Really? ... I would much rather see a ball of lights shooting into the sky and exploding, triggering a full-blown fireworks show that was put to music! ... and now that I think about it, who really cares about a big ball?... what about a screeching rocket, that upon the stroke of midnight, explodes into fireworks... And better yet, they could have something parachute down.... what about penguins? yeah, and once they reach the ground, they could perform a choreographed routine similar to, but better then, their original debut on Mary Poppins!.... But that would be hard to train penguins to parachute and dance... So let's just stick to the screeching rocket exploding into a fireworks display. But then what about the rocket pieces plummeting out of the sky and hitting people in the streets? Hmmm... Well, maybe it shouldn't actually explode... Hmmm... I guess something shooting into the air does have it's down-sides.... Well, maybe instead of the ball floating slowly down, the ball should come crashing downward at an unbelievable speed and explode down at the bottom?? Ooh yeah... that would be cool... and the anticipation of waiting for the crash would be a lot better then just waiting for the ball to eventually reach the bottom after 30 seconds, and then light up. Yes, a fast-dropping ball would be much better.... But then again, if the ball crashed into a million pieces, they would have to make a new ball every year, and THAT would get expensive...and who would be paying for that??? Taxpayers.... so no, scratch the idea of the exploding-lightning speed-dropping ball.

Hmmmm.... ya know, maybe the "National New Year's Eve Committee" already thought of all this... they wanted to do something dramatic and exciting like screeching rockets, dancing penguins and fast exploding balls... but there just wasn't enough resources to do it every year. So they had to just stick to the basics.... Yes, I think a ball dropping slowly 30 seconds prior to the stroke of midnight IS a good idea. And ya know, they DO have the new year light up at the bottom... so that's pretty cool. And they drop a lot of confetti, and that's kinda fun.

So, I guess a ball dropping is pretty cool... and it's what people are used to and have grown up watching... so I guess it's a fun national tradition! I guess it would be fun to go to NYC and see it in real life someday."

Hope you all had a Happy New Year!!!

NOT Noteworthy!

2009-12-29T15:43:00.003-05:00

Some of you may have heard about the historic snowfall of December 18th, 2009. I have been fighting the urge to post about this... despite the fact that my boys absolutely loved the snow... and because we went sledding, built a snow fort and played in it for days. The reason it pains me to write about it, is because growing up in Alaska, snow in December was not something that made national news. It was normal. People didn't rush out to the nearest store to stockpile bread and milk to last them through the "storm". They didn't cancel parties or wedding receptions or church. They didn't delay holiday traditions at the mere scent of snow. But, here in Virginia, life comes to a screeching halt when rumors start flying about a snowfall.

But nevertheless, I am writing about this snowfall. It was relaxing to look out the window on Christmas Day and see a white landscape, even if it was raining... and I have to admit that the sight of a few snow patches in the yard after 10 days, does my heart good!

TRENTADUE FLICKS

2009-12-24T14:55:00.000-05:00

Tune in for the highlights of 2009... and get a glimpse into our favorite flicks!!

CAST OF CHARACTERS:
Mike: as “Real Estate Dad”
KaLisi: as “Household Managing Mom”
Josh – age 7: as “Baseball Playing 2nd Grader”
Caleb – age 4: as “Bike-Riding Pre-Schooler”
Brooks – age 1: as “Toddling Bundle of Rolls”

FEATURING:
NCIS – (Naughty Children Investigative Service) is more than just an action drama. With silly doses of humor, it focuses on the complex and always amusing dynamics of three young boys forced to work together in mischievous situations. Mike and KaLisi continue to brush up on their forensic skills to determine the “victim” from the “perpetrator” in every crime. Test your own forensic skills by predicting which family member, who in a strange turn of events, backed into Mike’s car one dark night.

LOST – We’re constantly teasing you with mysteries, but here’s a few things that we know for sure... Josh continues to lose teeth at an alarming rate; to date, he has lost 7! Caleb is always moving and we often refer to him as a pocket of powerful electromagnetic energy! This energy often rubs off onto Josh and Brooks, which usually leads to destruction of mass proportions! Brooks, who often appears shirtless, can hypnotize the Others with his sultry gaze and round physique.

24 – 24 is broadcast in the semblance of real time, with each season depicting a 24-hour period in the lives of The Trentadue Five, who work together and fight against threats of H1N1, the broken-garage-door-incident, which trapped a mother and her children in the house for three days, and the Fall of 2009, which buried the Trentadue’s with leaves until two brave missionaries raked them out!

Million Dollar Listing – The first season premiered in 2001, and now focuses on the real estate market in Richmond, Virginia. It follows a very prestigious real estate agent at ReMax Action. The storylines range from a down-town listing becoming the final resting place for a local vagrant, to numerous awkward advances from a flirtatious married client. Unlike the show’s title, Mike likes to keep it in the Hundred-Thousand Dollar range.

Cake Boss – This reality show stars the owner of KaLisi’s Bakery. Hundreds of meals go on her table lined with four hungry boys, who have been known to chant, “We want food! We want food!” She’s a one-woman team and has even tried her hand at decorating the kids’ birthday cakes… although she won’t be winning any prizes, the boys loved her first ever Sponge Bob and Teddy Bear cakes!

Sponge Bob Square Pants – This animated series is an extremely energetic story, which centers on the adventures of three brothers who live in a brick, colonial in the Southeast. Some episodes include: “Life of Crime”, which depicts the lone Joshua’s spontaneous excursion around the neighborhood; “No More Mr. Scaredy Pants” featuring Caleb’s victory over the indoor inflatables at Kangaroo Jac’s; and “Overboard”, a heart-wrenching tale of Brooks’ sudden upside-down plunge into the baby pool!

Flash Forward – What’s in our near future? Josh will be baptized in March… Caleb will be starting Kindergarten next fall… and Brooks will graduate to nursery in April! We look forward to many other 2010 milestones in our family and wouldn’t change it, even if we could!

Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!
Love, The Trentadue's

one down... one to go....

2009-12-09T12:28:00.005-05:00

turns out the disposal worked fine... but the drain was clogged. Did you know that the #1 rule about disposals is: If you can't eat it, neither can the disposal???

This was news to me... so no eggshells (which I've read help to sharpen the blades), and no lemon peels (which will freshen the smell)! Maybe I should write to Real Simple and tell them that according to my plumber, they have written false information in their magazine! Oh and one more thing... they said rice is one of the worst things to put down because it expands and fills up the drain pipe. Who knew?

A disposal is also not to be used as a garbage can.... maybe they should change the name to something other then "GARBAGE DISPOSAL"! I guess the real purpose of it is to grind up the tiny bits of food left on the plate once it has been scraped into the actual garbage can. So it turns out, I probably need that "wet garbage bucket" under my sink after all!

P.S. I'm assuming when they come to fix my washing machine tomorrow they're going to tell me that I can't bathe the kids in there either! I guess I need to read the instruction manuals on a few things! :)

it all started yesterday...

2009-12-09T00:24:00.004-05:00

I just got back from a "girls' night out" tonight.... and from doing laundry. Yes, I did both at the same time! I did my laundry at a friend's house during our "get together". All this because my washer quit today mid-load... so I had to wring out a whole batch of clothes by hand, and then load it into a hefty bag, drive 8 minutes, run it through the spin cycle, and then dry it. What a process, right? (if you can't tell, I'm mocking myself)

but to be completely honest, it was pretty inconvenient. But the washer breaking is only the straw that broke my back, because yesterday the garbage disposal gave out. But unlike the washer, I do have a few tricks up my sleeve when it comes to the disposal. Google and You Tube have lovely little sites about what to do in case your disposal clogs or jams. And rest assured, I've already tried all the quick-fix-it tips that are suggested. Afterall, a garbage disposal is a very simple machine, so they say, consisting of a basic motor and blades used to chop everything up. I used the allen wrench to "un-jam it trick", I pushed the red reset button many, many times, all with different combinations of "holding it down for 5 seconds" vs. "the rapid pressing method"... I proceeded to do the ole' "jiggle it a little trick", followed by the "hit it violently until your hand hurts method" .... not to mention, "stick your hand down there and fish out any foreign objects procedure" (although I think "they" suggested using a broom handle)... I even COMMANDED it to start working.... but nothing.

Now, I have to explain a bit... if you don't have a disposal, this may all seem very trivial. But having a non-working disposal is so much worse then not having a disposal at all, because nothing drains right. You can't use that sink at all. And if you do, it just fills up with nasty, gray water with a floaties, until you can scoop out the water 1/4 cup at a time, until the water recedes from the sink and back down the drain hole. It's really a gross process.

But luckily, after all this, I have some clarity about our little misfortunes.... I think our house likes to keep us humble by simultaneously sabotaging various mechanical machines within it's walls to force us to reflect on how lucky we are to have such modern conveniences at our finger-tips. (We've had quite a few in our recent past... the dishwasher, storm door, and garage door, just to name a few.) For instance, if my washer had NOT broken down today, I would have never reminisced about the pioneer women, and how freakishly strong their fore arms must have been. (Seriously, my hands were cramping up after wringing out 2 pairs of jeans.)... And how grateful I am that I don't have to have a bucket under my sink specifically for "wet garbage that won't burn" like we had growing up.

So really, I should be thanking my lucky potato peels (that's what clogged up the disposal in the first place), for this opportunity to be appreciative for what I have... and that all it takes is a phone call to our home-warranty repair guy to come out and fix it! it really is THAT easy! (I hope!)

Laundry or bunnies?

2009-11-18T12:39:00.002-05:00

I can't decide if my laundry is actually a living creature, or not. Every time I turn around, it is reproducing with itself... if that's even possible... in what I can only guess is an attempt to survive and avoid becoming extinct forever! ... Or maybe it's because I do SEVERAL batches of laundry, only to get tired of it and not touch it for a few days, thus getting behind?... Naaaaahhhh... it's multiplying with itself!

In an attempt to stay on top of it all, I typically convince myself that once I have completed a project, I won't have to do it again... ever. It must be some sort of coping mechanism, because I do it with laundry, vacuuming, mopping, grocery shopping, and rotating the kids' clothes in and out of storage. Deep down, I know it's not possible that I will NEVER have to do it again... but day after day, I trick myself into a soothing sort of denial, until that dreadful day comes when it is time to do it all over again!

I need therapy! ... or maybe just a maid!

Kate...

2009-11-02T21:43:00.003-05:00

I'm watching "The Kate Story".... from Jon and Kate + 8... and I don't buy it that she's willing to give up the spotlight. I think she's secretly loving it... otherwise she would call it quits. Why am I watching this? I can't look away!

deja vu?...

2009-10-27T13:18:00.002-04:00

As I was standing in line at Joanne's Fabric today, my falling accident from yesterday was replaying in my head. I had to hold back the giggles as I thought of what I must have looked like. The word "pathetic" comes to mind. My mind wandered a bit, as I tapped my fingers on the counter in lieu of hollering at the "fabric cutter" to hurry it up, because I had to pick up my son from pre-school!

But while I waited, I was reminded of a similar incident that happened, ironically, the last time I was at Regency Mall several years ago. I was again, sitting in the play area, watching Josh and Caleb play. I sat there on the benches, with my legs crossed under me. Caleb was 1 or 2 at the time, and like Brooks, was also fond of running OUT of the play area. So I jumped up to stop him, but my feet were still entangled below me, and I fell forward like a corpse, flat on my face. The lady whose lap I practically fell into, politely said without laughing, "Don't worry, I don't think anyone else saw."

I tried to believe her, even though I knew it was not possible. The area is surrounded on all sides by a wall of benches, and the entire play area is plopped right there next to the food court. According to my calculations, there was a high probability that 30 or more people could have seen me fall like a 5'7" tree in the forest.

But as humiliating as it was, I had to push these thoughts aside, because Caleb now had a significant head start towards the elevator. I jumped up, adjusted my pants and bolted. I managed to snag his shirt, just before he stepped foot in the open elevator.

Apparently this seems to be a reoccurring event for me, and if there's any chance at retaining any sort of dignity at this mall, I really wish they would install a gate at the opening of that play area! Maybe with my kids contained, I would have a fighting chance of staying upright at the next play group!

Please don't tell me I'm the only one who has fallen down in public! Please share your stories so I don't feel like an idiot alone!

I don't need a crutch!

2009-10-26T19:17:00.004-04:00

Whenever I go awhile without writing, I start feeling the pressure... like I should have something profound and intelligent to say after a hiatus of silence. Well, don't hold your breath... because I have nothing insightful or philosophical to say, but rather, just another embarrassing, awkward and shameful experience by yours truly.

Today I was enjoying a lovely outing to the Regency Square Mall play area for a play group activity, where my 4 year old was bored because he was surrounded by "babies" (since everyone was 2 and under), and my 1 year old was determined to escape from the play area. I, on the other hand, was entertained by stimulating adult conversation, regardless/in spite of the tantrums of my 1 year old. But after about an hour, I succumbed to my back-arching baby, and allowed him to walk outside of the play area to the quarter-operated fire engine and ice cream truck "rides". He was enthralled... I was, to no avail, straining to make out the conversation from 50 feet away. As I walked around the fire truck, I failed to see the little slope underfoot, despite the bright yellow painted line.

My ankle rolled... my head whipped back... my arms flailed... and my body crumpled to the floor (literally).

Luckily, besides the other 2 year old playing on the fire truck, the only other eye witness was a small elderly woman. Even my fellow "play-groupers" failed to see my humiliated collapse. I stood up quickly, favoring my right ankle a bit, and tried to determine the seriousness of my injury. Could I make it to the stroller well enough to hobble out the door?... Or should I just throw myself back on the floor and wait for someone to call an ambulance?

I decided that I MUST "walk it out!" My head felt light... my stomach felt queasy... and my feet felt cold because of the pain. But I managed to carry my things back to the congregation of other moms.

Luckily, my ankle felt fine to walk, and for the rest of the day, I could easily maneuver around acorns and pine cones on the way to the bus stop, I avoided the unevenness of the pavement in our driveway, and bounced up and down the steps without hesitation.

But now, 9 hours after play group, I'm sitting here with an ice pack and my foot elevated, nursing my anterior talofibular ligament (okay, I had to look that one up), hoping with everything that I am that crutches are not in my future!

what's the point of going to bed?

2009-10-13T14:38:00.002-04:00

Last night, I had a list of things to do...
1) Go the store to pick up a few more items for my co-op preschool lesson
2) While at the store, pick up a few food storage items to finish canning, before I have to give the canner back.
3) Finish preschool lesson
4) Go to bed

Went to Walmart at 9:40pm, and managed to fill my cart to the brim with food storage stuff. Aaaah, it feels so good! I pulled into the driveway at 10:30pm (I stocked up and checked out, in less then an hour! Are you impressed?... It's easy with no kids in tow!) I came home to Mike emptying out the garage. At first I was annoyed, because I had a lot to do, but it didn't take me long before I was completely enthrawled in the project. We were working together like a well-oiled machine... tossing stuff here, hanging up stuff there, organizing things over there! We brought that garage back into submission, and it looks amazing... well, it does to us anyway!

Garage cleaned by 2:00 am?... check! Baby wakes up at 2:01... check! Baby back in bed by 2:30 am?... check!

Then I realized I forgot one of the vital materials for my preschool craft! So I had to reinvent the craft.
Long story short... I was crawling into bed by 5:45 am... only to set the alarm for 6:55 am to wake up Josh. Mike got up, and I ended up sleeping til 8:30 am. Still not enough time, but better!

Now, I'm wondering what good those 2 1/2 hours got me. I'm draggin' and baggin'! (translation: I can't move, and have bags under the eyes)

Tonight? Go to bed at 9:00 pm.... if I even make it that long!

I'm just a Z-List Celebrity...

2009-10-12T15:16:00.005-04:00

www.eslpod.com/.../ 2008/12/realitytv1.jpg

Today I felt like I was on stage in my very own Reality Show!

SCENE 1: Me and the boys went to the park, and had a very pleasant time. (Cue symphony and sunlight) Josh and Caleb were polite and playing nicely with each other. Eventually, after 1 1/2 hours of blissful romping, I thought to myself, "Well, it's about time to go". My children appeared spontaneously, and gathered around me, as if they had just read my mind. I said, "Shall we go?", and they all nodded and skipped happily to the car, helping each other in and fastening their seat belts. I could almost hear the "crowd" sighing with delight... "Aaaahhh!"... as they watched our melodious exit from the park! The boys asked to go inside McDonald's for lunch. This is something I rarely do anymore because it's always such a fiasco, but this time, I felt confident that it would be a good day to splurge.

SCENE 2: We fumbled with the door on the way into McDonald's, and I immediately could feel all eyes were on us. I ordered our food, and started filling up drinks. This was a bit cumbersome because I was holding my 1 year-old on my hip, a large diaper bag over one shoulder, and trying to maneuver around the crowded drink station. Josh and Caleb couldn't have been more angelic as they held their cups carefully, and volunteered to collect the napkins and straws. I told them to go into the kids area and find an empty table. While they went on ahead, I filled up ketchup cups with my one free hand, (I could almost hear the applause) and then carried the towering tray of food into the play area to find the boys. On my way there, a man turned around without seeing me, and I could almost hear the gasps from the crowd, as I lifted the tray over my head with my one hand (not even one fry fell), baby on hip, large diaper bag over one shoulder, and did a little three-quarter spin to avoid collision. I resisted the urge to say "Ta-Dah", and take a bow when I realized my audience was not impressed... tough crowd.

I thought Josh was coming to my rescue to open the door. But the crocodile tears were only a foreshadowing of what lay ahead.
(Cue evil, villian music)
SCENE 3: Apparently, in an attempt to set down 3 drinks at once, Josh had spilled my medium sized pop. I struggled to remain calm and understanding. I walked over to the disaster zone, and saw a waterfall of root beer flowing over the table, onto a chair and then pooling onto the floor amidst boulders of ice. There were splatters around the circumference of the table within inches of other people's feet. Our wet and sticky table was the only empty table in the entire vicinity, and we were surrounded by spectators on all sides. All of them were staring at us.

I couldn't help but recreate the scene in my mind. Two small boys carrying drinks, searching for an empty table without an adult... the drink spills, and they become flustered wondering what to do. Everyone stares. No one offers to help.

(Cue my entrance.) I'm not much help either. I don't have enough napkins to even make a dent, and I'm still carrying a baby on my hip, gigantic over the shoulder diaper bag, and a tray of food which more accurately resembles the Leaning Tower of Pisa. Meanwhile, I can hear the booing and hissing from the audience, and I even had to dodge a few peanuts as I exited stage left. I looked around desperately for some help. All eyes quickly avert. So I abandon Josh and Caleb once again to go get help. A uniformed man reluctantly and hesitantly follows me on stage, and suddenly becomes disgusted with his role. I awkwardly gather up all the food, and wrap my foot around a high chair, and kick it out the door into the main part of the restaurant because I don't have a free hand, and begin the search for another empty table. I turn and give one last look at my disappointed audience... they all breath a sigh of relief... END SCENE!

Dang It!!!

2009-10-11T11:28:00.002-04:00

I think some of you have heard me say that I want to invent a mop that goes on your baby's clothes so they can pick up lint and dust while they crawl around!

Turns out it's already been invented! I'm too slow!

So much for making millions!

3 days in a row...

2009-10-09T13:54:00.005-04:00

I'm not entirely sure... but when I saw the shirt that Josh laid out for school last night strewn across the couch this morning, I knew something wasn't quite right.

For the past couple weeks, my hubby has been getting Josh off to school. He likes it because it gets him out the door early for work, and I like it because I can catch some extra Z's in the morning! So every night I get his lunch packed, backpack ready, and make sure he lays out his clothes... all in preparation for a streamlined and flawless departure.

But yesterday afternoon, Josh bounded off the bus wearing the same shirt as he wore the day before. Odd, I thought... and borderline embarrassing, since he has a ton of clean shirts stacked in his drawer. So I asked him about it... and he confirmed that he had indeed worn the same shirt twice. I suggested that he not do that again because it needed to be washed. Enough said.

So this morning, when I found the abandoned shirt this morning, I did a double take and found myself conducting a search for the infamous green t-shirt that he had sported for the past two days. All laundry hampers were "green t-shirt free", which leads me to believe that he is WEARING the shirt AGAIN!. Now, it's T-minus 11 minutes until the truth will be known. Honestly, I'm a little worried. This is not like Josh. I mean, I can barely get the boy to wear a perfectly clean pair of jeans twice as a favor to me, to help me cut down on laundry. But lately, I've had to remind him to actually use shampoo, as opposed to just getting wet... I've had to retrain and inspect his teeth brushing abilities... and now I have to keep track of his wardrobe to keep him from looking like a homeless person?

*********** Brief Intermission*************

Josh came home, and thankfully he is NOT wearing the green t-shirt! I'm not sure where it is... (I should check his drawers)... but he has a lovely #22 navy blue t-shirt on with khaki cargo shorts. I can now show my face at school. Thank you Josh!

If there's a Wii, there's a way!

2009-10-05T16:43:00.008-04:00

"Could they ask me any more questions? How many snacks can one 4 year old eat? Is it possible for the house to be any messier? How long has that bag of grapes been in his backpack? If I have to pick up one more sock, I'm gonna...! Are they really fighting AGAIN? Oh no, please don't tell me they woke up the baby!"

All of this is normal chatter that rumbles through my head on any given day... and most of the time, it goes almost unnoticed. I go from one thought to the next without much effort. It just floats around in there, and I just keep on going. It must be some sort of coping mechanism that all moms are endowed with, otherwise, I'm sure that we would all face certain, and unavoidable insanity.

But there are some days where these thoughts are enough to push me over the edge. A couple weeks ago, it was on a day such as this, (let's call this day "D-Day", which will serve as an alternative to boring you with all the gorey details) that I was actually pushed beyond my limits. I was feeling torn in every which way... emotionally, mentally and even physically! Now, I've come close to this state of being before, and thought that I had exceeded my own capabilities, but in reality, I wasn't even close to where I was on D-Day. And as scary as it sounds, I'm sure that someday in the future, I will be stretched again and will find myself looking back on D-Day and laughing. After all, that's how we grow, right? ... The next trial will seem a little easier because of what we have experienced in the past, therefore making us that much more prepared?

So back to my story... on my D-Day, I was miserable. But, there were still things to do, someone else's needs to be met, little mouths to feed, a little person that needed a nap. And it was more then I could do!

But I found myself rescued! Not by someone... but rather, something came to my rescue and saved my life that day! His name was Indiana Jones! Wii Lego Indiana Jones, to be more specific! He miraculously had the ability to subdue my needy children for a couple of hours while I rushed around in my crazy state of mind! There was something about his square physique, and the way that he cracked that whip, that captured the attention of Josh and Caleb, and kept them completely entertained when I couldn't!

Now I'm not condoning playing video games all day, every day... but there are days when we all need a little extra help! So on those days where you're feeling stretched beyond what you can stand... just think to yourself, "Where there's a Wii, there's a way!" That's what I learned on my D-Day!

my hero... isn't he handsome?