Under the looking glass

Unlike what you may think, I do try to maintain a little bit of dignity around here. But in writing on a public blog, I feel there is a fine line between divulging enough information to make you appear human... and keeping some things private enough to retain that much desired self dignity. Today I fear that I just might cross that line to appease my husband who has been begging me for the past 5 days to write about a recent incident.

While Brooks was playing quietly down the hallway, in the playroom, I stole away 10 minutes to take a shower with the bathroom door shut, rather then locked. Let me explain. On the weekends, when my two oldest boys are home I have to keep the door locked while showering because my shower is surrounded with pure glass walls on all sides. To date, I have not found an adequate contraption to shield myself from the view of anyone who enters. Thus, I started locking the door to sudden interruptions and definite embarrassment for all parties involved. But when it's just my 2 year old at home, I have to remain somewhat accessible in case of an emergency involving a non-functioning toy or the ending of Sesame Street.

So, I was just rinsing out the shampoo (3 minutes in), when I saw the bathroom door open. I attempted to be as non-chalant and discreet as possible, so I turned away to avoid further investigation. Little did I know that he was grasping a little tiny magnifying glass in which the handle barely fit in his chubby little hand, and the lens was about the size of the ping pong ball. He came over to the shower door and held the magnifying glass up, causing his eye ball to triple in size, while saying one of his most commonly uttered "phrases"... "Ahh ahh ahhhhh?"

I'm torn. Part of me feels a little disturbed that my son was using a magnifying glass to spy on me in the shower... and the other part can't stop laughing at the image of his curious GIANT eye ball!
On the contrary, here's a picture of Brooks with his eyes shut tight!

Wake Up Call

8:00 p.m. is the new midnight. By then I really feel dead tired after scaring the last few homework sheets into backpacks, wiping the counter tops for the ump-teenth time, picking up yet another Nerf gun dart, and wrestling 3 kids into pajamas... I'm pooped.

But I found myself at Walmart due to a shortage of pull-ups, and I can't risk him going to bed without one yet... I'll save my rantings on that one for a different post. But while I was there, I figured I would make a mad dash around the store picking up a few needed items. This was going to be a "quick trip". Although I never cease to amaze myself with how much I can get done without chilluns in tow, so just 30 minutes, and one heaping cart full of food later, I was ready to check out.

I don't need to go into detail about Walmart check-out lines, so I propped my foot up on my cart and thumbed through the latest People Magazine to pass the time. Once again I was not disappointed with top-breaking news about what celebrities wore to the Oscars, that I never watched... and which actors look so much alike they could be brothers, but SURPRISE, they're not... and the rumored break-up of Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansen. SIDEBAR: I didn't even know they were married. And I was surprisingly engrossed by all this, until I noticed that the cashier had stopped scanning items and leaned her elbows down on the scanner. This didn't look good.

I'm not sure of the details... but when I noticed that that the lady in front of me was asking for items to be taken out of her cart to bring her total down, I knew it might be awhile. But changing lanes was not an option at this point... I was invested in this lane. I could almost touch the conveyor belt, and it would be stupid to abandon my position at this point.

20 minutes later I was forced to put back my trashy magazine and start loading my items on the belt. I have a system for this. Large, heavy, and often frozen items up front... boxes and cans next... and lastly bread, eggs, fruits and veggies. But I digress.

I was busy grabbing loaded grocery bags and strategically placing them back in my cart, when the cashier, after noticing that I purchased some under eye concealer, said, "You know, if you put a little white eye liner in the corners of your eyes, it will brighten them up and not make you look so tired." I literally inhaled my spit and felt the burn in my throat as I tried to figure out what just happened.

I admit, I wasn't exactly dressed for a night out on the town... although an evening trip to Walmart is often the closest thing I get to one... But hey, I showered... and I had jeans on. Now that's pretty classy, if you ask me.

I glanced back to the lady behind me, and we both secretly rolled our eyes.

After recovering from my spit inhilation, I managed to squeak out, "Well, I chose not to put on make-up today."

She tried desperately to reverse her rudeness by saying that I looked "surprisingly pretty for no make-up."

I forced a smile, but couldn't muster out a "thank-you" for fear I might start critiquing her flaws in revenge.

Tired, but not degrated, I loaded up the car and drove home singing as loud as I could to the radio. I couldn't unload the groceries right then, because I had to deliver the pull-ups to my 5 year old and get him in bed. My husband was upstairs starting the "bedtime routine" and once we summed up the job's at hand (putting kids to bed AND unloading the groceries), we willlingly switched places. I tickled a couple backs, and read a couple stories... and I could hear Mike rustling plastic bags and shutting cupboard doors below. Job well done.

Nothing like a little "wake-up-call" to put the whole day into perspective. I looked tired... because I was. But I wouldn't have it any other way. I love my life.

Here are a few attempts at our Christmas Picture on Christmas Eve.