Walmart is also offering parenting classes...

I spent an hour at Walmart this morning... doing a little grocery shopping... but mainly finding supplies to decorate a Boy Scout 100 year Anniversary Cake for the Blue and Gold Banquet tomorrow night.

Brooks, my almost 17 month-old, is a very happy little guy, and usually enjoys being my little shopping side-kick. But he also has a mind of his own and is often compelled to spontaneously act out violently by arching his back, kicking, throwing things, and hitting me. It's been especially bad the past 2 days, and I have come to the conclusion that he must be suffering from MBS... "Mad Baby Syndrome". The only remedy to MBS is snacks, bottles (yes, we're both still addicted to the bottle in spite of recommendations from the pediatrician), lots of cuddle time, the freedom to walk around where one chooses, and to NOT be buckled in a car seat! Unfortunately, after only 45 minutes, he consumed all the snacks and juice in my loaded diaper bag, and managed to throw every single book/toy across every single isle in the store. So I zipped up my bag, hurried to find fondant and chocolate covered raisins all while trying to ignore the wimpering/crying/yelling baby in the basket.

By the time we got to the check-out stand, the MBS had completely taken over and he was not fit to be reasoned with. He continued to wail and cry... and threw his binky over the candy display and into the next check out line. Thank goodness no one was injured.

The cashier was very nice at first and tried to talk to him... he was silenced for a minute to take notice of her bleach-blonde mohawk, before the crying continued.

To be perfectly honest, I wasn't bothered one bit. I knew he just wanted to go home and play, so the mutual agony would inevitably be over soon. I was just doing my best to load my cart and get out of there as soon as possible.

It became very obvious, however, that the cashier had lost her patience when a river of advice came gushing out her as if a dam had broken.

Here are my favorite parts...

Cashier: "I see that your mommy didn't buy you any goldfish!"

I tried to explain that we had a 3-month supply of goldfish at home. Apparently that wasn't her purpose in saying that, because she continued....

Cashier: "Well, I like to put different snacks and stuff in those handy little zip-lock baggy things. And sometimes I carry a bag that has little toys, or books or something so they don't get bored and cry while I'm running errands."

I'm actually speechless at this point. My diaper bag is green... and if you squint it might give the illusion of camoflauge. But we're hardly in the middle of the forest, so it's a stretch that she doesn't see it heaping out of the cart next to Brooks. But regardless, does she really think that the reason for Brooks' MBS behavior is because I was unprepared? The thought of that makes my stomach churn... and I choose to force a slight smile instead of uttering the insensitive, rude remark that is running through my head.

Cashier: "Maybe he just wants a pacifier or something."

She obviously missed the UFO that landed in Check Out Line #7.

She continued to spout out suggestions with a smart-alick sort of tone... but I tried to just block it out. She was now scanning my bananas, bread and eggs, so I much preferred to swipe my card and just get out of there, because lucky for her, I didn't have PMS today!

1 diaper left...

I HATE going to the grocery store. Every time I go, I swear it will be my last... but 2 weeks later, it's time again to make another run.

I've needed to go now for about 3-4 days, but keep putting it off... I much preferred rummaging through my "food storage" to see what I could "come up with" before spending 1 1/2 hours shopping, loading up the car, unloading the car and putting it all away. And after 10+ years, I don't think I'm overstating it... grocery shopping is really the bane of my existence!

But I've searched the entire house, and I only have 1 diaper left. How did I let my supply get so low? I thought I knew better. But now I have to get dressed and comb my hair on a Friday when I did not have another reason in the world to leave the house today. My plan to hunker down, play with the kids, and maybe do a few batches of laundry?... foiled again! Maybe it's time to break into that package of emergency cloth diapers just to save my soul... (scratch my head as I consider the consequences of using a cloth diaper)... Time to put on a bra and head out for the day.

I should've slept in today.

I think I know "the schools" better then they know themselves.

We woke up this morning to 2 inches of fresh snow, and it was still snowing. I checked the messages, and the news, and they hadn't cancelled school yet. I kept dragging my feet on getting ready, because I knew that this "storm" was worthy of canceling school.

I do need to clarify something -- I'm an Alaskan -- I personally do not believe in canceling school, or ANYTHING for that matter, just because of a little snow, or even a lot of snow for that matter! In fact, I only remember one time where school was canceled in Alaska, and it wasn't because of snow... it was because of severe cold (-40 or colder). But after ten years of living here in Richmond, I've learned to predict when school will be canceled. And after much reluctance, I realize that not everyone is used to driving in snow, and that Virginia does not have the resources to adequately clear snow. Therefore, I understand the need to cancel school, work and church... even though I think it's completely ridiculous, and I often feel like the laughing stock of my fellow Alaskans.

So the reason for my frustration this morning, is not because they canceled school.... it's because they canceled school at 7:33 a.m.!

I can read minds... and I know what the school county officials were thinking.... "We've already cancelled school for 4 days, and delayed it 2 hours one day... we really don't want to cancel it again. Maybe if we wait a little longer, it will all just disappear! We can't make decisions. We don't know what to do! Oh wait, I know! Let's wait until 17 minutes before school starts... when people have already shoveled their driveways and brushed off their cars, when buses are already picking up kids, when kids are already arriving at school, and when parents have already left for work! Yes, that's a great idea!... Make the calls!"

So now, after an emergency canceling of schools due to inclement weather the snow stops falling 48 minutes later. It's almost embarrassing that after just 2 inches of snow, once again, everything is shut down.

Now, my eyes are burning and I'm very tired... and I wish that I was still in bed, oblivious to all this snow drama.

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