Brooks didn't take a nap today. He sat up in his bed for 2 hours. He talked. He played. He banged on the wall. He was happy. But he eventually had enough, and started crying. After about 3 minutes, I knew that there was NO chance he would be falling asleep, so I went upstairs to release him.
He was standing up in his crib crying. He was bottomless. In his hands, he clutched an open diaper filled with poop!
If I didn't know any better, I think he had pooped as soon as I laid him down and he couldn't take it anymore, and decided to change his own diaper. Unsure of how to dispose of it, he just held it there on the other side of the railing as if he was trying to get it as far away from him as possible... but was completely aware that it could fall onto the floor, so he just held onto it.
No poop was to be found on any surface. Seriously, this kid is way beyond his years!
Crackin' Down
Lately I've felt like such a mean mom! I feel like I spend more time getting mad and inflicting consequences (aka pain and torture, according to my kids), resulting in tears shed, doors slammed and severe pouting by all parties. That is, until last night.... DUN-DUN-DUN!
Then it occurred to me. The problem isn't about me being too mean, but rather, me being too nice! I don't let them get away with murder... but I realized that I try to give my kids the benefit of the doubt. I don't like them to suffer. And to be perfectly honest, I don't want to make my life miserable, so I tend to look the other way on some things.
THE END RESULT???
2 boys that are completely rotten! They fight, argue and scream about EVERYTHING! They ignore their chores... but I'm often too busy to notice. They have no manners. They talk back. In essence, THEY DRIVE ME CRAZY!!!
SOLUTION: I'm going to start crackin' down, baby!
But not by getting mad... I realized that I don't have to make their life miserable. My goal is to make them accountable. Bottom line... I don't have to be mean to be "THE MOM!" I WILL remain calm. I WILL be consistent. I WILL succeed.
would you rather ... ?
This was our conversation at dinner:
Josh: Would you rather be shot by a gun ... or ... sit in a bucket of Matthew snot? (apparently Matthew is a snotty nosed kid from school)
Caleb: Sit in a bucket of Matthew snot.
Loud shrieking laughs!
Josh: Would you rather sit in a bucket of Matthew snot... or ... live in the wild?
Caleb: Live in the wild.
Josh: Would you rather drink acid pee instead of water ... or ... be shot out of volcano of salsa?
Caleb and Me: Be shot out of a volcano of salsa.
( I can't believe I'm playing along at this point?)
Josh: Would you rather not eat for 4 days ... or... eat boogers for 1 day?
Caleb and Me: Not eat for 4 days.
And the grand finale...
Josh: Would you rather poop throw up ... or... throw up poop?
Me and Caleb: Poop throw up.
The image this brings to mind is purely sickening.
See what I have to live with?
Josh: Would you rather be shot by a gun ... or ... sit in a bucket of Matthew snot? (apparently Matthew is a snotty nosed kid from school)
Caleb: Sit in a bucket of Matthew snot.
Loud shrieking laughs!
Josh: Would you rather sit in a bucket of Matthew snot... or ... live in the wild?
Caleb: Live in the wild.
Josh: Would you rather drink acid pee instead of water ... or ... be shot out of volcano of salsa?
Caleb and Me: Be shot out of a volcano of salsa.
( I can't believe I'm playing along at this point?)
Josh: Would you rather not eat for 4 days ... or... eat boogers for 1 day?
Caleb and Me: Not eat for 4 days.
And the grand finale...
Josh: Would you rather poop throw up ... or... throw up poop?
Me and Caleb: Poop throw up.
The image this brings to mind is purely sickening.
See what I have to live with?
I'M GOING TO SCREAM!!!
The aftermath of 2 boys coming home from school and 1 waking up from a nap is seriously detrimental to the appearance of my house! I had the whole downstairs picked up and almost clutter free. And now it looks like a tornado! I told them not to make messes that they weren't willing to clean up... and what did they do?
While I was making dinner (WAY ahead of schedule, by the way) something terrible happened! This is the evidence that was left:
-30 (or more) erasers dumped and scattered all over the kitchen table
-homework pages and books strewn about the kitchen floor
-couch cushions upheavaled
-crumbs... it doesn't really matter where they are... I just hate crumbs!
-dirty socks... need I say more?
and this is just downstairs.
The only thing that brings me peace, is that I'm not going to pick up a single thing! THEY WILL DO IT ALL!!! Mmmmwhhaaaaaa aahhh aahhh aaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!
While I was making dinner (WAY ahead of schedule, by the way) something terrible happened! This is the evidence that was left:
-30 (or more) erasers dumped and scattered all over the kitchen table
-homework pages and books strewn about the kitchen floor
-couch cushions upheavaled
-crumbs... it doesn't really matter where they are... I just hate crumbs!
-dirty socks... need I say more?
and this is just downstairs.
The only thing that brings me peace, is that I'm not going to pick up a single thing! THEY WILL DO IT ALL!!! Mmmmwhhaaaaaa aahhh aahhh aaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!
reverent.
Tonight Brooks was the most reverent he has ever been during family prayer. I almost didn't notice at first. But I soon realized that there was no giggling... no running... no somersaulting... no slamming of doors... no climbing on our legs and backs. NOTHING! Just the sound of Caleb's little voice asking us to be safe while Dad's away... and for Dad's safety on his trip.
Half way through I peeked open my eyes and saw why Brooks was so quiet.
He was kneeling up against Josh's bed with his little arms folded and his head in his arms... NAKED... Naked as a baby jay bird.
We just might be implementing a new family prayer rule... 1) Fold your arms, 2) Close your eyes, 3) Kneel down, 4) Get in your birthday suit!
Brooks - July 2009
Half way through I peeked open my eyes and saw why Brooks was so quiet.
He was kneeling up against Josh's bed with his little arms folded and his head in his arms... NAKED... Naked as a baby jay bird.
We just might be implementing a new family prayer rule... 1) Fold your arms, 2) Close your eyes, 3) Kneel down, 4) Get in your birthday suit!
Brooks - July 2009
Green... gooey... need I say more?
What's the first thing that comes to mind when you hear those words?... GREEN and GOOEY!
Yesterday at dinner, I was actually enjoying the stimulating conversation about various bus-riding do's and don'ts. The conversation then shifted to talking about a certain "nerd" at school. Sidebar: I don't like this word... NERD.
Confession time... the word NERD always strikes a chord inside of me because sadly, I can very much relate to that word. Only 14 years since graduation, and I'm finally saying it, "I was a nerd!" Complete with large glasses, and braces... I sheepishly walked the halls of my middle school. Although I ditched the glasses before going to high school, I was still quiet and mousy. My confidence grew a bit with each year, and by Senior year, I think I was only slightly awkward.
But, I digress.
These "blast from the past" feelings provoked a lesson on treating everyone the same, regardless of "nerdiness" or "weirdness" or "stinkiness" or "geekiness" or "clutziness". I just wanted my boys to treat everyone with respect and be nice to everyone and be friends with everyone.
THAT'S WHEN IT HAPPENED. Amidst all this warm and fluffy chatting about friendships and kindness and brotherly love --(insert rainbows and unicorns in here too)-- I felt a little swipe on my back.
I looked over at Caleb, who was sporting a gawky, guilty smirk. Josh's face was twisted in disgust. Thanks to my "nerdy background", it didn't take long for me to put 2 and 2 together and make sense of their face combinations.
"Did you just wipe a booger on my back?" I asked.
Caleb erupted into giggles. Josh insisted that I go to the bathroom and look in the mirror. There.it.was. A green, gooey smear across my back. -- (insert gags and dry heaves here) --
I realized right then and there, after careful reflection upon my life since mothering only boys, that I am often the brunt of a lot of practical jokes, teasing, towel snapping... and now, booger wiping... pranks! Despite my best efforts to evolve, I am clearly outnumbered, apparently making me the honorary NERD of the family!
Yesterday at dinner, I was actually enjoying the stimulating conversation about various bus-riding do's and don'ts. The conversation then shifted to talking about a certain "nerd" at school. Sidebar: I don't like this word... NERD.
Confession time... the word NERD always strikes a chord inside of me because sadly, I can very much relate to that word. Only 14 years since graduation, and I'm finally saying it, "I was a nerd!" Complete with large glasses, and braces... I sheepishly walked the halls of my middle school. Although I ditched the glasses before going to high school, I was still quiet and mousy. My confidence grew a bit with each year, and by Senior year, I think I was only slightly awkward.
But, I digress.
These "blast from the past" feelings provoked a lesson on treating everyone the same, regardless of "nerdiness" or "weirdness" or "stinkiness" or "geekiness" or "clutziness". I just wanted my boys to treat everyone with respect and be nice to everyone and be friends with everyone.
THAT'S WHEN IT HAPPENED. Amidst all this warm and fluffy chatting about friendships and kindness and brotherly love --(insert rainbows and unicorns in here too)-- I felt a little swipe on my back.
I looked over at Caleb, who was sporting a gawky, guilty smirk. Josh's face was twisted in disgust. Thanks to my "nerdy background", it didn't take long for me to put 2 and 2 together and make sense of their face combinations.
"Did you just wipe a booger on my back?" I asked.
Caleb erupted into giggles. Josh insisted that I go to the bathroom and look in the mirror. There.it.was. A green, gooey smear across my back. -- (insert gags and dry heaves here) --
I realized right then and there, after careful reflection upon my life since mothering only boys, that I am often the brunt of a lot of practical jokes, teasing, towel snapping... and now, booger wiping... pranks! Despite my best efforts to evolve, I am clearly outnumbered, apparently making me the honorary NERD of the family!
Peace of Mind
"I have a hole in my foot!" Josh's upper lip contorted in 7 different directions before his eyes welled with tears and he sobbed as he climbed back in the car!
Caleb was practically giddy as he did a little quick-step back and forth on the pavement and begging for me to do it again!
Brooks squealed with delight at seeing his brothers again.
...5 MINUTES EARLIER...
On the way home from a birthday party, all three boys were fighting over everything from party favors to who saw the slug-bug first. I was suffering from mild heat stroke due to sitting in the wretched sun at a baseball game, which presented itself in the form of a massive head ache. I was sweaty from cleaning all afternoon. And my legs ached, just because. I couldn't imagine driving home another minute with the screeching from the back seat.
So in an instant, I swerved into an empty parking lot without a plan. I thought about just sitting there until they could calm down. I've tried this before. But that would only torture me further, since it usually takes them 5 minutes to realized we stopped in the first place. So I ordered Josh and Caleb out of the car. I still had no idea what I was doing at this point. But I couldn't stand to look at them another minute. I had to repeat the order 7, 8, 9, 10, 11 times before they got out. I responsibly waited until both boys were clear of the car, then I sped away! I thought about leaving the parking lot completely only to come back eventually, but I worried they would try to follow me onto the busy road. So I just circled them, weaving around light posts and medians. With every turn, I would catch a glimpse (often in my rear-view mirror) of them attempting to anticipate my next move as they zig-zagged back and forth. The whole time, they were running almost full-speed. Did I mention that Josh was shoeless?
After a couple minutes (literally 2 minutes), I figured they had had enough. So I stopped and allowed them to catch up to me. I rolled down the window and Josh screamed at me! I told him calmly that he needed some more time to think about how he had been acting... and then I drove off again!
By this time, I was feeling rejuvenated! Instead of anxiety and anger, I felt amusement, with only a smidge of guilt. I made one final loop among the empty parking spaces and slowed to a stop right next to my tired offspring.
"Mommy just needed a little quite time!" I said happily.
Josh grumbled inaudibly under his breath and Caleb begged me to do it again!
On the way home, we continued to have a discussion about the importance of behaving politely and quietly in the car. When I passed our street and kept going, they both questioned where I was going.
"I'm going to get you all turned around, so when I drop you off, you won't know how to get home!" I teased.
Both little bodies froze, and I could see their eyes on me in my rear-view mirror....
"Cool!" they both said in unison!
I did end up dropping them off on the side of the road... and they took a well-known short-cut through the trees... and beat me to the house!
(Random running pictures)
Caleb was practically giddy as he did a little quick-step back and forth on the pavement and begging for me to do it again!
Brooks squealed with delight at seeing his brothers again.
...5 MINUTES EARLIER...
On the way home from a birthday party, all three boys were fighting over everything from party favors to who saw the slug-bug first. I was suffering from mild heat stroke due to sitting in the wretched sun at a baseball game, which presented itself in the form of a massive head ache. I was sweaty from cleaning all afternoon. And my legs ached, just because. I couldn't imagine driving home another minute with the screeching from the back seat.
So in an instant, I swerved into an empty parking lot without a plan. I thought about just sitting there until they could calm down. I've tried this before. But that would only torture me further, since it usually takes them 5 minutes to realized we stopped in the first place. So I ordered Josh and Caleb out of the car. I still had no idea what I was doing at this point. But I couldn't stand to look at them another minute. I had to repeat the order 7, 8, 9, 10, 11 times before they got out. I responsibly waited until both boys were clear of the car, then I sped away! I thought about leaving the parking lot completely only to come back eventually, but I worried they would try to follow me onto the busy road. So I just circled them, weaving around light posts and medians. With every turn, I would catch a glimpse (often in my rear-view mirror) of them attempting to anticipate my next move as they zig-zagged back and forth. The whole time, they were running almost full-speed. Did I mention that Josh was shoeless?
After a couple minutes (literally 2 minutes), I figured they had had enough. So I stopped and allowed them to catch up to me. I rolled down the window and Josh screamed at me! I told him calmly that he needed some more time to think about how he had been acting... and then I drove off again!
By this time, I was feeling rejuvenated! Instead of anxiety and anger, I felt amusement, with only a smidge of guilt. I made one final loop among the empty parking spaces and slowed to a stop right next to my tired offspring.
"Mommy just needed a little quite time!" I said happily.
Josh grumbled inaudibly under his breath and Caleb begged me to do it again!
On the way home, we continued to have a discussion about the importance of behaving politely and quietly in the car. When I passed our street and kept going, they both questioned where I was going.
"I'm going to get you all turned around, so when I drop you off, you won't know how to get home!" I teased.
Both little bodies froze, and I could see their eyes on me in my rear-view mirror....
"Cool!" they both said in unison!
I did end up dropping them off on the side of the road... and they took a well-known short-cut through the trees... and beat me to the house!
(Random running pictures)
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