I think there's a point in your life where you decide that "public humiliation" is a thing of the past. No more being laughed at because you had a zit on your nose, or because you started your period in the junior high showers. (By the way, I'm just now admitting that last one... that's right it took me 20 years to come out about that one.)
I actually started to feel comfortable that I couldn't possibly endure anything worse. That is until last night. I found myself in a conference room surrounded by retired, probably menopausal women with a little too much power. There was a man or two there... but they were lacking a certain genitalia that would actually give them the gumption to stop such a thing from happening.
The meeting was called to order... a motion to start the judicial hearing was seconded... and then 8 pairs of eyes looked my direction.
I gave my "testimony" and then waited, as all eyes continued to look at me.... staring... waiting. I'm not fond of awkward silences, so I added a few more points and then asked if they had any questions. They did not. I then asked what the verdict was. Apparently, they needed time to deliberate and the results would be mailed to me. When I questioned why they couldn't speak to me and give me an idea of what kind of punishment to expect, one lady told me that "In sales, if you feel that you've presented your pitch to the best of your ability, then you just..." she then pulled an invisible zipper over her lips slowly, and sarcastically instructed me to, "stop talking."
So where do you think I was when all of this happened? On trial for murder? NOPE... the local Homeowner's Association.
What was my crime? Failure to remove vines from a brick wall.
I'll spare you the details of it all... but for the record, I did comply in a timely manner, and I personally removed all those vines myself. Is this a personal vendetta from a grumpy board president,you ask? I think so.
Nevertheless with no chance of appeal, I am at their mercy, full of adrenaline, as I pace in front of my mailbox.
If you've ever felt like your brain is going to mush because of lack of use... try THESE mind benders to ward off the Alzheimer's! ...
About this blog...
Welcome to my world of precious moments, and please-let's-forget-about-it mishaps... where life with 3 boys never slows. Tag along with me as I try to turn those snakes and snails (or whatever little boys are made of) into something that I can cherish... or at least live with!
"The mother loves her child most divinely, not when she surrounds him with comfort and anticipates his wants, but when she resolutely holds him to the highest standards and is content with nothing less than his best."
~Hamilton Wright Mabie
"Mother is the one we count on for all the things that matter most of all."
~Katherine Butler Hathaway
"My mother was the most beautiful woman I ever saw. All I am I owe to my mother. I attribute all my success in life to the moral, intellectual and physical education I received from her."
"It is not what you do for your children, but what you have taught them to do for themselves that will make them successful human beings."
"I love my mother for all the times she said absolutely nothing... Thinking back on it all, it must have been the most difficult part of mothering she ever had to do: knowing the outcome, yet feeling she had no right to keep me from charting my own path. I thank her for all her virtues, but mostly for never once having said, "I told you so."
"God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers."
"How thankful I am, how thankful we all must be, for the women in our lives. God bless them. May His great love distill upon them and crown them with luster and beauty, grace and faith."